


The Magical World of Disneyworks

by ismycapsloudenoughforyou



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014), Disney - All Media Types, How to Train Your Dragon (Movies), Peter Pan (1953), Rise of the Guardians (2012), Tangled (2010), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Magic, Multi, No Smut, References to Depression, Social Anxiety, Trigger Warnings, cursing, fandoms are tagged in order of appearance and depending on the importance of the characters, i accidentally made everything gay, like the minimum level but still cursing, occasionally featuring scientific and philisophical mumbo jumbo, the disgusting underuse of some pretty sweet characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2019-06-25 10:40:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 31,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15639075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ismycapsloudenoughforyou/pseuds/ismycapsloudenoughforyou
Summary: When a preprogrammed Disney World game goes off the rails, Merlin enlists the help of whoever was on hand (our cast of original characters) to help him get the world of Disney, Dreamworks, and Marvel characters back under control. Shenanigans ensue.orYou: Infinity War was the most ambitious crossover of the yearMe: hold my beer





	1. Look Ma I'm a Sorcerer

**Author's Note:**

> Sorcerers of the Magic Kingdom is only loosely based off the actual game since the last time I played I was twelve.
> 
> I am no longer twelve.
> 
> Also, this story may contain characters from movies for kids, but i would not let your kids read this story. Why? because i have issues writing stories without giving my characters some sort of mild mental disorder ("look what you've done to this poor character, now it's got anxiety") so anyone under like, 14, this probably isn't for you.
> 
> This was beta-ed by my sister, who has since gone off to college and now I don't have a beta. So past chapter 18 is un-beta-ed. Zandra, if you're reading this, fuck you. Other readers, feel free to beta via the comment section (if something's confusing, say so, if a line read wrong or awkwardly, say so, if a character acted OOC, say so, etc.)

“Literally, overnight bus trips can stuff it,” Willow groaned, dumping her suitcase in the allotted hotel room.

“Well I’m not saying you’re wrong, but Disney World,” Kari said, dropping her own suitcase on one of the beds.

“But seriously, if they didn’t get one of those state coach buses I genuinely would have rioted. My back  _ still _ hurts even though we got the nice one.”

“The school’s legally required to give us one if we cross state lines,” Lottie said matter of factly, already looking through the drawers.

“And thank god for that,” Willow agreed, flopping facedown onto the bed. “Okay well this bed is all mine so I hope you two don’t mind sharing.”

Kari rolled her eyes. “We’ve been dating for how long? And you’re still making those cracks?”

Willow snickered through the comforter. “It’s amusing.”

“Call me paranoid but I’m almost scared to leave my violin here,” Lottie said, setting the instrument down.

“I’m just gonna put mine under the bed.” Kari pushed her viola case underneath.

Willow scoffed. “You lucky bastard.” Lottie giggled, moving Willow’s bass aside to slide her own instrument under the bed.

Someone knocked on the door. Willow shook her head. “Here comes the devil.”

Kari opened the door.

Zak entered in an energetic blur, already shouting, “ _ Yo what up madrefrickers you’ll never guess what I found out! _ ”

“Hi Zak,” Kari deadpanned, closing the door behind him. “How are you?”

“I’m-- did you get the door closed-- I’m fucking  _ awesome _ !” he crowed.

“Jesus, language Zak, we’re at Disney World, not high school.”

“Well we’re here for high school,” Zak countered. “And I said madrefrickers!”

“Literally I let it slide the first time but never say that again,” Willow groaned into the bedspread.

Zak ignored her. “Okay so I was trolling around the Disney sites because  _ obviously _ , you know, Trivia Man’s gotta be up to snuff, and I stumbled across this webpage about this interactive game called Sorcerers of the Magic Kingdom so I was like  _ obviously _ gotta check this out i mean who would I be if I didn’t? So I looked around a little more and there’s a Sorcerer’s Training spot at the firehouse right by the entrance and I immediately booked it over here because if we don’t check it out I’m never talking to any of you again.”

“You had me at interactive game.” Kari rubbed her hands together. “Have they got any Dreamworks stuff yet?”

“They only bought Dreamworks like two months ago, that’s probably not enough time to code in new levels or whatever,” Lottie said.

“Whatever, don’t care, the Magic Kingdom opened like ten minutes ago let’s fu-- fricking  _ go _ .” Zak tugged Kari’s arm. They grabbed their backpacks and booked it.

The bus ride over was mostly uneventful. At a harsh stop Zak  _ almost  _ cussed but managed to keep it together. They made it through the park gates without further incident.

“What I don’t get,” Kari said as they waited in line for the tutorial, “is how literally of all of us Zak has the most young siblings and the most anti cursing parents, and the worst mouth.”

“I’m a rebel,” Zak said, flicking his head like he was trying to do a hair flip. It didn’t work all that well.

The Cast Member handed them their maps and cards. “And which difficulty would you like?”

“Hard,” Zak said.

They managed to talk him down to medium.

“Okay,” Willow said. “To play two player we just hold two keys up to the lock?” She didn’t wait for an answer, shoving her and Kari’s keys up to the ornate lock on the wall. The portal shimmered, and with a few crackling bolts of lightning it flashed into existence.

“Dude,  _ sick _ ,” Zak enthused. They quickly scuttled backward to the two Circles of Power built into the floor, clinging to each other to stay inside. The clouds inside the portal cleared, revealing the character Merlin from  _ The Sword in the Stone _ inside a ransacked office, rummaging through some drawers. He glanced up.

“Ah, good to see you sorcerer!” he said.

“Yeah hi, how’s it going?” Kari joked.

“What’s the sitch wizard man!” Zak whisper yelled.

“I suppose you’ll want to know what’s happened,” Merlin continued like they hadn’t said anything. The crystal ball on the shelf next to him began to shimmer and the camera pulled in close.

“So, you know the Underworld’s getting kinda dark, kinda dreary,” Hades was saying to his minions, Pain and Panic. The four instantly stifled their laughter. They all agreed that Hades would be like that sassy gay friend during one particularly eventful movie night, and now it was kinda hard to take him seriously. “So I found this spot of prime real estate, mortals call it the Magic Kingdom. You know, I’d have to adjust it a little bit, put up some new drapes--” thorny tendrils covered an image of Cinderella Castle and caught fire, burning into blackened ash against the white bricks-- “but I really think it’s worth the time, you know?

“Only problem is this Merlin guy. See, he’s got this magic crystal, it’s like the security system for the park. Some say it can detect any evil, so what we’re gonna do is steal the crystal so that he can’t use it, and then we’ll be good to go!”

“Is anyone else reminded of  _ The Emperor's New Groove _ ?” Willow wondered.

“I was just thinking that!” Lottie blushed.

The viewpoint changed back to Merlin’s study, where Hades’ minions were shown snatching the magic crystal off the shelf as Merlin snoozed. He woke in an instant.

“Scoundrels!” Merlin hit them with a spell, but in the process also hit the crystal, causing it to split into pieces that (conveniently) flew out the window. A fiery round hole in Merlin’s study appeared, and Pain and Panic were pulled inside. Hades was  _ pissed. _

“This was supposed to be easy!” he exploded, fire raging across his shoulders. “Get in, get the crystal, get out!” He squished his minions between his palms, the fire dimming back down to blue as he controlled his temper, and pulled his hands apart to reveal a fanned out deck of cards, each displaying a different Disney villain. “Fine, fine, you know what I’ll do? I’ll get a bunch of  _ real  _ nasty bad guys to help me find the pieces and make sure Merlin can’t put it back together.”

The view zoomed off the crystal ball to show Merlin’s office again. “So you see, we’re all in great peril,” he told them.  “It’s really crucial that you assist us, or else we’ll almost certainly fall to Hades and his minions.”

“No worries, we’ve got this!” Lottie chirped.

Merlin perked up, almost as though he’d heard her, though it was probably a programmed response like the Dora the Explorer cartoons. “You’ll help? Wonderful! Here’s the first portal you’ll need to go to, it’s on your map. I’ll give you a quick tutorial there!”

The portal went dark again.

“We’re in business.” Willow grinned.

Their first portal was in a shop off the side of Main Street. A picture of Mickey Mouse shimmered when they activated the keyhole, turning into a portal.

“You’re not a moment too soon!” Merlin had apparently taken cover in one of the Main Street trolleys. Various jets of light zinged past him onscreen. “I found one of the pieces but Hades’ minions are in hot pursuit!”

“Probably because you keep calling them his minions,” Kari said. “They probably consider themselves to be partners.”

“Contact Pongo and I’ll check in as soon as I can!” Merlin finished. The portal spiraled with blue as viewpoints changed.

“Oh, Pongo!” Lottie beamed. She was a dog person.

The portal zoomed in on the barking cartoon dog, before a Merlin voiceover spoke. “What, you don’t speak Dalmatian?”

“Of course I speak Dalmatian!” Willow exclaimed hotly. “Bark bark, body language!”

The teens snickered while Merlin cast a spell to ‘sort things out’. Pongo looked pretty unhappy at the fact that they couldn’t speak Dalmatian, but it couldn’t be helped. It wasn’t as though it was on Duolingo. The spell zoomed them between various pictures on the wall behind Pongo as Merlin and Pongo (and some pictures’ voiceovers) explained what had happened, the gist being that Cruella de Vil was in town and she wanted her coat,  _ bad. _ Hades, disguised as Boss Teal, was there to join up with her. He’d get her the puppies if she got him the crystal.

“ _ Cruella de Vil! Cruella de Vil! If she doesn’t scare you, no evil thing will! _ ” Kari sang as they headed down the street again for the Train Station, the site of the next portal.

Lottie giggled. “You’re such a nerd.”

“You love me anyway!” Kari grinned. Lottie took her hand and swung it between them.

“You think the things on the cards matter? The type and whatever?” Willow asked, looking over her hand (a wonderful woman in the fire station had come up and handed them a deck of every card you could get for free; she said she came almost every day to get cards so she could do that; they’d thanked her profusely and split the deck four ways).

“Probably, have you ever played a video game?” Zak sassed.

“Well, probably the whole ‘Princess Spell’ ‘Hero Spell’ thing doesn’t matter, but I bet the Charming Strong Quick thing does,” Lottie amended. “Like Pokemon.” She blushed. “I mean, I’ve never played. But from what I’ve heard. It’s like Pokemon.”

Zak clicked his tongue at her with mock disappointment. “Guess what you’re doing on the way home.”

The Cruella quest was actually pretty easy. They flashed cards at the screen (all four of them, always making bets on which ones the computer would read), trying to pick out various enemies’ weaknesses. After some research, they found the pattern.

“So they’re hardly affected by what they are, but they’re extremely affected by what they aren’t,” Kari mused. They were gathered around Zak’s phone, reading the wiki page, because they were cheaters. “A llama alpaca is gross, so he’s not affected by Gross. Facilier is sleazy and charming, so he’s not affected by that.”

“That makes sense.” Willow nodded. “Okay, where did they say we needed to go to keep helping?”

“Um, Fantasyland, I think it was.” Lottie consulted her map. “Yeah, it’s that spiral right there.”

“Oh, we’re right next to it.” Zak put his phone away. “Okay, we’re not going to be able to memorize all their strengths and weaknesses, so we’ll have to play it by ear and use our heads, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Kari readied her cards. They moved into the Circles of Power, holding up their keys. The portal on the wall flashed with lightning and appeared. Merlin was inside, looking disheveled.

“Oh good, you’re still with us. I was worried for a moment there. The- well, the adventure’s gone off the rails a bit. Hades is off-script, and we’re all in danger.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the real Sorcerers of the Magic Kingdom is actually a one player game. I made it two because i hate myself and also because i have four original characters (because i hate myself)
> 
> anyway i pulled a major revamp on this chapter. like on my google doc for this, i marked all my edits in red and this entire chapter is red now. yeehaw.
> 
> at the very least, it no longer makes me cringe
> 
> thanks for reading!


	2. The Plot Thickens / Appears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got one (1) kudos and decided to take that as a hint that someone wants to read this.  
> you know, like an idiot.  
> anyway here's chapter two

“He’s off script?” Kari’s head tilted to one side as she spoke.

“Yes- the guests are supposed to go around the various lands and defeat a bunch of villains Hades teamed up with,” Merlin responded directly to her, casting furtive glances around the area. Miraculously, the other guests were ignoring them entirely. “But he got tired of being beaten by children, I suppose, so he’s gone off script. I’ve managed to keep the game running so far, but we’ve needed someone to fix things for awhile. Everything’s falling apart.”

“I don’t blame him for getting mad, but what’s he trying to do, specifically?” Zak asked.

“He’s resurrected villains from the dead to get revenge, he’s brought back a couple heroes and turned them to his side, and ever since Marvel and Dreamworks entered the world- it’s just too much for one wizard to handle, especially without my magic crystal,” Merlin said, sounding worn. “They’ve captured protagonists, taken over various lands, and it’s threatening your world now. I’m not sure how long I can keep them contained.”

“Hey, no worries man!” Willow said cheerfully. “We signed up to defend the Magic Kingdom, we’re sure as heck gonna fulfill the contract.”

Merlin perked up. “Oh thank goodness.” He looked relieved. “I think right now the land that’s in the most turmoil is Adventureland. Hook’s captured Peter Pan, I believe he’s about to make a public show of his nemesis’ execution.” Lottie’s hands flew to her mouth. “I’ve no doubt you’ll be able to find the portal needed, but I can’t help you with that. That area’s completely under Hades’ control. I can’t see which portal’s the correct one.”

“I only bs-ed on half the assignments this year,” Zak said, determination etched into his face. “And common sense is my middle name.”

Willow looked sideways at him. “I thought it was Todd.”

“I believe in you,” Merlin urged. “You’re sorcerers of the Magic Kingdom!”

“Yeah!” Kari cheered, her ponytail waving in the air behind her like an excited cat’s tail. The portal dissipated, and the group gathered around Lottie’s map of the Magic Kingdom.

“Okay, we’re here, and we need to get there.” Willow stabbed the map with a pencil. “And then I guess we just check whatever portals aren’t already in use by a guest.”

“We’ll coordinate attacks and walk,” Zak decided, pulling out his deck of cards.

“Okay so the different types of cards are Charming, Gross, Flying, Quick, Energy, Wishful, Strong- am I missing any?” Kari asked, rifling through her cards.

“Nope, just those seven,” Willow responded. “So, this is Captain Hook. What do we know about his character?” They weren’t really sure why she was asking, since she was pretty much the expert on Peter Pan, but then again, Lottie had always been a good judge of people’s character.

“He’s sleazy, kinda dumb,” Lottie responded. “You know, general Disney villain. Not much defense, he’s extremely offensive in nature, you know, kill Peter Pan, shoot him out of the sky with a cannon, so cards with a Shield on them would be good to keep on hand.” They shuffled their cards as she spoke, nodding along. “He’s a pirate, so Gross attacks probably aren’t his weakness.”

“He’s probably Strong, so count those out as well,” Kari added.

“If he’s dumb, Quick spells would be a good idea to keep on hand.” Willow almost dropped half her deck onto the ground, but caught it, blushing. Zak raised an eyebrow as he shuffled his Gross spells to the back of his deck. She batted his shoulder.

“And since his nemesis is Peter Pan, a flying boy, probably our best bet would be Flying spells,” Lottie finished, after glancing through their remaining options. “Since he’s sleazy, I don’t think it’d be Charming attacks.”

“Okay, grab whatever Flying spells you have.” Zak had the cards out in front in a heartbeat as they passed through Liberty Square.

“Do we know what boosts do?” Kari asked, holding up one of her cards and squinting at the stats.

“No, I don’t think Merlin ever explained those.” Lottie frowned, glancing at her own card. “Baloo’s Coconut Cascade has a Flying Boost of 2. Does that mean it boosts the power of Flying spells in general for that battle, or in general?”

“Oh, of course you get Baloo.” Zak griped playfully. “I’ve got Caballero Donald’s Pinata. What on earth is a pinata going to do to a pirate?”

Willow shrugged. “Rot his remaining teeth? Dunno man, figure it out.”

“And what’d you get, then?”

“Fa Mulan’s Dragon Cannon,” she responded smugly. “My girl Mulan, we’ll beat the guys together.”

“Okay, we’re here.” Kari interrupted their good natured debate. “And it looks like somebody’s using that snowflakey one in there, so I say we snatch the lightning bolt before someone else does, yeah?”

“Let’s go.” Willow got the look on her face they normally saw when she was getting ready to take on the final boss in a video game.

“Cards ready?” Kari asked, preparing her own set.

“Yeah. Make sure you guys have them divided by type, just in case Flying isn’t his weakness,” Zak advised.

Lottie nodded, preparing her key. “Alright. Keys up in three, two, one!” They raised their keys in something that almost resembled synchronization.

The portal opened to reveal a somewhat distraught Tinker Bell flying back and forth as though pacing. “Excuse us!” Willow called. The others glanced around to find the park guests ignoring them again. Maybe Merlin cast a spell? Or maybe they were just completely oblivious. Or maybe it was Disney World and this was just par for the course here.

The fairy girl flew up to the portal, and to their relief spoke in a bell like voice rather than just bell tones. “Who’re you?” she asked, but seemed to notice their sorcerer merch. “Oh, Merlin’s little army? He said he was sending someone this way. Are you here to help Peter?”

“Yes we are,” Willow said. “Well, that’s the plan anyway. Merlin couldn’t tell us which portal we needed to use to find him though. I don’t suppose you could help us?”

“I can!” she chimed, hopeful. “Hook’s got Peter by the fire portal on your map. I’ll meet you over there, okay?”

“Got it. Thank you so much!”

“Anything to help Peter.” The portal closed, vanishing again.

“Okay, where’s the fire portal?” Zak turned to look at Kari, who already was pouring over her map.

“It’s right over there.” She looked up and pointed. “Come on, quick, we’re on a time crunch!”

“Well, are we?” Willow asked as they crossed the area. “We don’t know how time there versus here works.”

Lottie shuddered. “I’d rather not think about that.”

“Cards still ready, keys ready, three two one go!” Zak counted them off quickly, and they lifted their keys to open the portal.

They weren’t sure what it was _supposed_ to look like, but whatever it had been before, it’d been changed into a pirate’s bar. The portal didn’t transmit smells, but just from the look of it they knew it’d be _Eau de Wet Dog_. It looked like the portal was positioned behind the bar. Most of the crowd of drunken pirates was looking up at what was obviously Hook on the counter. He had his back turned to the portal, his signature hook raised in the air dramatically and one hand around the throat of a young redhead who was obviously Peter. Tinker Bell was fluttering anxiously towards the back of the crowd; they could see her glow. None of the pirates had noticed the portal yet.

Willow immediately gave up on their no shouting rule and cupped her hands around her mouth. “Hey, you big idiot!” she shouted.

The hubbub of the bar died away, and everyone turned their attention to the portal. “No not you, the giant one on the bar up there!” She waved a finger at Hook. He slowly turned and glared at her. “Yeah, I’m talking to you!”

“Just _who_ do you think you are?” he asked, dangerously slow.

“The teenaged female who’s gearing up to beat your sorry ass!” She planted her feet, a hand on each hip as she glared right back at him. “The crocodile’ll be the least of your nightmares when we get through, you cranberry fucknugget!”

That did it, apparently. Hook dropped Peter on the floor at their side of the bar, readying his hook. “Those’re some strong words you’re using, lass,” he said, eyes glinting. “But are you prepared to follow through?”

“Have at ye, ya drunken bastard,” Willow responded easily, readying her spells. Lottie pulled her cards out as well, preparing.

The girls struck first. Lottie played a shielding card off the bat, Flynn Rider’s Flying Frying Pan with a 4 point shield. Willow played Fa Mulan’s Dragon Cannon, with a 4 point attack. Oddly, the shield wasn’t an abstract concept. It was a real thing, a transparent dome around the two Circles of Power.

Staring around the bar, Kari focused on strategy. After all, they weren’t there to beat Hook, they were there to keep him from killing Peter Pan. Currently, said boy was lying helpless with his wrists tied around an anchor, effectively keeping him grounded.

“Lottie, use Pocahontas’s Colors of the Wind,” she whispered in her girlfriend’s ear, getting an idea.

Lottie looked back at her, confused. “What? But that’s Wishful.”

“We need a distraction so Tink can get to Peter,” she explained. “I’m thinking a whirlwind of leaves would be enough.”

“Oh, okay.” Lottie nodded, glancing back at the screen as Hook slashed with the appendage that gave him his name. Lottie’s shield around the group took the blow, becoming more transparent as a glowing green three popped into existence on the screen and faded away as it floated upward like a balloon. One more hit. Would they take damage?  _Let's hope we don't find out_.

Willow slammed him with Mowgli’s Swinging Vine as Lottie showed the Pocahontas card. A leafy windstorm blew into the bar, affecting all the pirates, but not Tinker Bell, which allowed her to get to Peter in the chaos. Willow’s attack had weakened Hook, but not discouraged him. In fact, she was pissing him off even more.

“Oh come on, I thought you were the deadly, menacing Captain James Hook?” she taunted. He didn’t answer, growling and slashing at them again. His hook bounced off their shield, causing it to disappear, but it still blocked his blow.

Zak was losing his shit behind Willow. “Dude,” he gasped through his laughter. “You’re getting beat by someone a third of your age. _Again_. I mean, I guess we know what the 'great' Captain Hook's weakness is:  _children_.”

“Perhaps we’ll see what she has to offer without some blasted magic shield,” Hook spat.

“That was just the warm up.” Willow turned a card towards the screen. _Finn McMissile’s Missile Salvo,_ Attack 5. The incoming missiles exploded through the roof of the bar (although oddly left it untouched), hitting Hook dead on.

“Zak, Caballero me!” Lottie called. Zak took the card in one hand and flicked it to her. She caught it and held it up to the screen.

Kari grinned. “And, three, two, one, _scene,_ ” she counted, bowing deeply.

Hook paused his assault, a confused expression stretching across his face. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you’re screwed, Captain sir,” Willow sassed.

Tink had freed Peter.

He rose into the air through a hole, crowing triumphantly with Tinker Bell gleefully circling around him. Hook glared at Willow. “This isn’t over,” he growled at her.

“I certainly hope not,” she retorted. “And I look forward to that day.”

He vaulted over the bar and ran for it. The rest of the pirates had already made themselves scarce.

Merlin appeared in the now-empty bar. “Oh thank heaven you’re all alright.” He sounded relieved. “Their hold on Adventureland has weakened thanks to you, though I’ve still got limited power here.”

“We told you we had it handled.” Kari grinned.

“You were entirely correct in that.” Merlin laughed, but sobered quickly. “Unfortunately, that’s only the first of the problems we’re facing here. We’ve got a resurrected superhero terrorizing Tomorrowland, and I didn’t manage to anchor any portals there when the game was started. Not only that, but we’ve also got a couple of shadow men trying to take over Fantasyland, and don’t think for a second Hades has forgotten about the crystal.” He sighed and rubbed his face. “I’d rather not have to ask this of you, but it would really be better if you split up, to cover more ground.”

The group looked at each other. “We’d have to do a bit of coordinating,” Zak responded slowly, judging everyone’s expressions. “And deliberating.”

“Of course.”

The group put their heads together. “We just have to be back at the hotel at 11:30 and no later, unless we text Noser that the bus line is super long or something.” Willow listed off possible complications. “We all have each other’s numbers, right?” Everyone nodded. “So if anything goes wrong and you need backup, just text.”

“Shadow men probably means Dr. Facilier, since he deals with Voodoo shadow monsters and whatever,” Kari theorized. “And the other shadow guy is probably Pitch Black, cause they bought Dreamworks and nobody says shadow man like Pitch Black.”

“And I’m guessing we all have theories about who’s in Tomorrowland,” Lottie said softly.

“I’m thinking Zak and I go take on the shadows, and the Girlfriends take on the superhero,” Willow suggested.

“Why not the Girlfriends bring their sunshine into the darkness of the shadows while we go take on the super?” Zak looked at her.

“I’m not sure you can keep it in your pants,” Willow teased. Zak shoved her shoulder.

“You guys have at least one of every card type, right?” Kari asked.

They all rifled through their decks. “I’m good.” One by one they all confirmed they had everything they needed.

“Hokeyp, we’re okay with splitting up,” Zak informed Merlin.

“Splendid!” Merlin was relieved, again. “Have you already picked who goes where?”

“The Girlfriends are headed to take on the super, and we’re headed to take on the shadow jerks.” Zak threaded his arm through Willow’s, giving her a cheeky smile.

“Good, good. The shadow folk should be in Fantasyland, you’ll probably find them in the star portal on your map. Best to hurry, I’m not sure how quick they are at causing chaos.”

“If they’re the guys we’re thinking of, they’re pretty quick,” Willow chirped. Zak smacked her on the arm, causing her to rub it and scrunch her nose up at him.

“Hang on, before you go.” Peter touched down just inside the portal. “Thanks for helping me out there.”

“ ‘S what we do!” Willow flashed a smile and a cheeky peace sign.

“I was thinking we could come with you.” He glanced at the tiny fairy on his shoulder momentarily. “To return the favor.”

Willow made quick eye contact with Zak, furrowing her brow. “We’d love if you came with, but- do you know how to get to the star portal from this one?”

“Well, no,” Peter admitted.

“Actually,” Merlin broke in. “The portals aren’t located as close together on this side as they are in the park. But, I could use a spell just quickly. . .” He pulled back his sleeves. “If all of you could hold up your keys now. . .” The four on the Park side exchanged a glance, before spreading out and doing as he asked. “ _Alakazam!_ ”

“Bless you.” Kari teased, even as she stared in awe at the crystallized white mist that came through the portal to hit their outstretched key cards.

Willow turned the key card towards her and studied it. “So what did that do?”

“Now you can go through the portals,” Merlin informed her. “As well as that, if you need you can bring someone else through with you.”

“Need, or want?” Zak mused under his breath. Merlin didn’t hear, apparently, or chose to ignore it in favor of taking them through a tutorial on how to use the new ability on their card.

“Okay, so we just. . .” Willow moved forward and touched her key to the keyhole again. “Like that? I think?”

“Exactly like that!” Merlin cried as white mist seeped out of the keyhole, enveloping the portal. “Now, you two go through.”

Tentatively, Peter took a few steps towards the portal, testing it with one hand. When it passed through, he backed up and threw himself through the portal, Tinker Bell following. He about bowled Willow over, but managed to stop his momentum in midair.

“Oh. That’s cool,” Zak noted.

“That’s the most blasé reaction to literal magic that I’ve ever heard.” Willow huffed, relaxing her stance.

"A warning, though: now that your keys have this ability you'll be vulnerable for the first second after you open each portal," Merlin said.

Willow wrinkled her nose. "What?"

"Each open portal will be an open doorway so long as you direct your key card towards it, so you'll want to be careful when opening them."

"Oh I get it," Kari said. "We have to take the keys away really quickly so nothing goes through."

"Exactly," Merlin confirmed, before looking back to Willow and Zak. “I suppose if you two are ready, you could get started now.”

“Sweet. If you need anything, just text okay?” Willow told the other two.

“Good luck beating the crap out of the boogeyman!” They waved as they split.

“As for the Girlfriends- that is your name as a pair, isn’t it?” Merlin asked.

“It is.” Kari took Lottie’s hand.

“So, for you two, you’ll want to find a portal close to the Tomorrowland section of the park,” he instructed them. “There’s a trash can that moves around in that section of the park. I’ll anchor a portal there for you to use.”

“Sounds good. We’ll go find it.” Kari smiled. “Bye Merlin!”

“Good luck girls!” The portal flashed with lightning and vanished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this doesn't set the precedent for how things are gonna go; again, I wrote the first couple chapters long before the rest (where I got a different idea of the story's direction)
> 
> also, i'm bad at action sequences. that won't change.


	3. The Lesbians Hug a Trash Can

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I play the pronoun game, trash cans have boundary issues, and Kari starts talking blasphemy.
> 
> or
> 
> I initially built the parts where they split up into the same chapter thus dividing a normal length chapter in half but then formatted it so that each group gets a chapter detailing their adventures so now each chapter is stupid short rip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If me calling them the Lesbians constantly annoys you, let me know now because every chapter following their adventures from here on is titled with that name and it'll be so much easier for me to change everything now rather than later. So tell me now or forever hold your peace.
> 
> I'd like to remind you that this is my old writing and it doesn't get recent until chapter 5.

“What do you think a super’s weakness would be?” Kari asked as the girls walked.

“I’m not sure.” Lottie frowned, shuffling through her deck. “You’d think an attack would have to be Quick? But that might not be it at all.”

“Hmm. . .” Kari shuffled through her own cards. “Okay, so maybe we’re looking at it from the wrong angle.” She held up a card, and Lottie took it.

“Tiana’s Hot Sauce,” she read. “This one’s Gross, though. I’m not sure how well this’d do against the guy we’re thinking of.”

Kari snorted. “What is he, Voldemort? Can’t we just say the name?”

“ _Say my name, say my name~_ ” Lottie sang absently. “ _When no one is around you, say baby I love you~_ Wait, are those even the lyrics?”

“I dunno.” Kari shrugged. “You’d know better than I do.”

“I guess.” Lottie shrugged as well. “But it’s a Gross attack, and from the card picture it’s a projectile too. I’m not sure it’d even hit him.”

“Yeah.” Kari sighed, taking the card back. “But it’s better than nothing. Who knows, if we do manage to land a hit, it could slow him down.”

“There’s also a fight fire with fire option.” Lottie suggested, sliding a card into a better reading position.

Kari read over her shoulder. “Dash’s Whirlwind? I’m not sure that’d help us. It’d depend on how they compare, speed wise.”

“We’ll see.” Lottie slipped it back into her deck. “Honestly I don’t know why we try. It isn’t as though Merlin said for certain who it is. Actually, I’m not even sure he knows, since none of the Incredibles are dead and would count as resurrected supers and Marvel characters are fairly new to the whole Disney World thing.”

“It never hurts to strategize in advance. Besides, what other heroes have died in that universe?”

“I don’t know, my brother’s the mega Marvel fan!” Lottie defended herself. “I just go to the movies with him.”

“At least you’ve watched them.” Kari’s eyes suddenly lit up. “Ooh, is Loki going to be working against us? I’ve always wanted to kick his ass in a sass-off.”

“You? Kick Loki’s ass in a sass off? I wouldn’t think so,” Lottie teased.

“He’s the God of Mischief, not sass, I could take him,” Kari fired back.

“I dunno. Either way, I kinda hope we can wrap this up a while _before_ we have to leave and go home. I enjoy being a hero as much as the next teenager, but I also kind of want to enjoy my Disney vacation while it lasts.”

“No worries. We’re obviously professionals. I mean, this isn’t much different from a video game, right? We’re just casting spells until something works.” Kari shrugged.

Lottie sighed. “Kari, we don’t know that. Hook never managed to land a hit on us because of our shields. What do we do if we run out of shields, or the shields aren’t strong enough? What happens then?”

Kari opened and closed her mouth once, before coming up with an answer. “We hope we have enough hit points to keep going,” she finally said. “And pray to God that we aren’t affected by it. Like unlimited storage mechanics, where Link crams an entire iron ball and chain into his pocket and his mobility isn’t affected at all?”

“I think that’s a little too much to hope for.” Lottie giggled, the mental image lightening her mood.

“And either way, it’s turn based, so it’s not any more difficult than like, Undertale or something, and we beat that in a single afternoon.” Kari shrugged it off.

The girls stopped once they’d passed the threshold of Tomorrowland, drinking in the sights.

“Well.” Lottie breathed in wonder.

“It’s like 201X, but during a drug trip.” Kari watched a car swirl around a track that was cheerfully labelled the _Peoplemover_.

“A Disney drug trip.”

Kari spoke in an exaggeratedly high-pitched, cracking voice. “Hello there kiddies, would you like a handy dandy Disney drug trip? It’s free with your trip to the park! And you don’t need parents’ permission!”

“Jesus Christ, Kari.”

“I’m- no, I’m not even going to lie, I’m not sorry.”

Lottie laughed. “Nevermind that, let’s go find me.”

“Haha, you’re trash, very funny.”

“Oh my god, there’s a Stitch attraction!” Lottie pointed at a sign that displayed a cutout of the blue alien cackling wildly as he crawled down towards a sign proudly showing off the words _Stitch’s Great Escape!_

“Lookin good dude!” Kari awkwardly gave the sign a thumbs up. “You’re rocking the orange. . . ! I think. . . I dunno man.” Lottie laughed. “Jesus, I’m not the fuckin’ fashion police, fight me.”

“We have to come back and hit that place up once all this is over,” Lottie noted as they continued walking, keeping their eyes out for the moving trash can.

“This is definitely not going to be easy,” Kari complained lightly. “I mean just look at the place, everything’s moving. How in the hell are we supposed to locate a walking trash can in all this mess?” She bent over next to the nearest trash can. “Hello, sir? Sir! We’re trying to find a walking trash can, do you maybe know where he is? Sir- Sir!”

Lottie burst into laughter. “It’s not going to answer.”

“Well do you have any better ideas?” Kari straightened up, placing her hands on her hips.

“Look for the trash can that’s sprouted legs and is prancing around the area like something straight out of Fantasia?” Lottie suggested in response.

“Sounds like you guys need some help finding something!” A voice with a metallic tone chirped between the girls. Kari swore wildly under her breath while Lottie jumped backward, gasping out something that sounded suspiciously like ‘PG-13 expletive!’

“Now now, watch your mouths,” the trash can chided, his teal flaps bouncing as he moved. “This is Disney World, not a pirate ship.”

“You don’t say,” Kari managed, clutching her chest like she’d just had a heart attack.

“Jesus, Merlin didn’t mention the trash can would talk.” Lottie gasped.

“The trash can can also hear.” The robotic voice sounded miffed.

“I beg your pardon, it’s been a bit of a wild day. I’m Lottie and this is my girlfriend Kari. What’s your name?” Lottie took over introducing them, since Kari looked like if she opened her mouth, she’d start swearing and never stop.

“I’m called Push,” the trash can introduced himself. “Can’t you read?”

“Man. Sassy trash,” Kari mumbled.

Lottie beamed. “Wow, just like me!”

“No honey, you’re cinnamon trash. I think Willow’s the sassy trash. Zak’s probably angry trash.” Kari placed her hand on Lottie’s shoulder.

“Then what does that make you?”

“Depressed trash.”

“That’s depressing.”

“And if this ‘Willow’ is sassy trash, then what am I?” Push asked.

“Annoying trash?” Kari suggested. Lottie batted her shoulder. Kari scowled, but adjusted her suggestion. “Actual trash? Savage trash?”

“I’ll take savage.”

“Savage trash it is,” Lottie declared, as though that made it so.

“Anyway, I’ve been waiting for you. You really took your sweet time getting over here. Merlin charmed me _so_ long ago.” His voice sounded like a chipmunk’s, except with a more metallic tone to it.

“Well, not all of us have the ability to teleport, and running’s probably not allowed. We’re in a Disney park after all,” Kari responded.

If Push had eyes, Lottie was willing to bet money that he’d be rolling them. “Either way, things are deteriorating over there, and quick. I bet you all the characters here can feel it.”

“Begging your pardon, but they’re--” Kari leaned in real close to the trash can and whispered the word as though it was the most derogatory of slurs, checking all sides for young children-- “ _actors_.”

Push gasped loudly. “ _Don’t you ever say that again!_ ”

“They’re not the fullest versions of themselves, how about that,” Lottie suggested.

“Acceptable.”

“Alright, they’re not the fullest versions. I still don’t see how they could feel the state of this other dimension--” Kari began.

“Oh could you just get on with it already? You’re wasting time, the gate’s getting weaker by the minute. Soon my operator will notice I’ve gone a bit rogue and they’ll try to take me in for repairs if it goes on long enough, and I’m sure you don’t want me gone for a day or two while they try to ‘fix’ me,” Push interrupted her.

“He’s right Kari. We still don’t know how time works over there.” Lottie looked to her girlfriend, who sighed.

“Oh, alright. Where do we show the keys?”

“Right here.” Push’s flap pulled back to display his insides, where a keyhole could be seen. Kari prepared her key, lifting it up. Suddenly, the flap dropped back down. “But first you have to give me a hug.”

“What?”

“You heard me. A hug.”

“No way, those are reserved for my girlfriend.”

“Then you can’t reach the keyhole.”

“What?! Just a second ago you were saying you’d be taken in for repairs if we didn’t hurry-”

“Yeah, so you’d better hug me quick.”

“Kari come on, you hug the other trashes all the time, you can spare one for the savage trash.”

“Lottie, on what plane of earth would you ever expect me to hug a literal trash can?”

“On the one where literally another plane of existence depends on you hugging the trash can?”

“. . .”

“Kari. . . come on, do it for me if not for him.”

“Fine.” Kari relented. “But after this, we’re having a serious talk about you respecting people’s boundaries,” she chided the trash can, kneeling down and wrapping her arms around his square body. Just for the hell of it, and to pre-empt any of Push’s upcoming demands, Lottie joined the hug. She wondered what it must look like to the other park patrons, two girls hugging a trash can. Then she realized that it was Disney World, and it was obvious that Push was a regular in these parts.

“Alright, hold your keys up and open the portal!” Push chirped, his flap opening to display the keyhole again. The girls lifted their keycards, and the familiar sight of a portal materializing greeted them.

Merlin’s face took up the entire portal. If it wasn’t in traditional 2D animation style, they’d probably have been able to see every pore on his face. “Oh goodness me!” The wizard jumped backwards, falling over an overturned table with his blue robes billowing around him. Now that he wasn’t clogging the view, the girls could see the world beyond him. It didn’t look good. While there weren’t any dead bodies in sight, a Meet the Robinsons-esque world had been torn to shreds. Papers drifted down empty streets, and a café nearby appeared to have been completely ransacked. All in all, it wasn’t looking good in the Alter-Land.

“Merlin are you okay?” Lottie called, craning her neck as though that would help her move the perspective shown by the portal (spoiler: it didn’t).

“Fine, fine.” He rolled to one side and appeared from behind the table again. “Everything else isn’t! We’ve got two factions of superheroes who can’t seem to work together, combined with the resurrected one terrorizing the streets, and nobody can reach an agreement. It’s complete chaos, why I’ve never seen anything quite like it in my whole life!” Merlin sounded indignant, like the flustered old man he was.

“Where’re they at? Is there another spot you could anchor a portal so we could go find them?” Kari asked.

“Anchor another portal? Oh no no, there isn’t the time and I haven’t the energy to keep up another steady temporary portal. No, you’ll have to come over here and take care of it from this side.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edit: this was written before infinity war. ah, simpler times. (now: "well i don't know, what other heroes have died in that universe?" "dude, e v e r y o n e")


	4. The Reckless Ones Are Remarkably Blasé About All the Magic Happening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nobody has any impulse control, the characters literally all of you were waiting for finally fucking show up, and I knock US Cellular despite knowing literally nothing about cell companies.
> 
> or
> 
> I pull a bit of filler dialogue to get the chapter to a decent length and cut out no less than twenty swear words, in an attempt to make it at least slightly ok for the kiddies (it still is not. like 40% not ok for the kiddies).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got two (2) more kudos and decided that meant i should release a new chapter. you know, like an idiot.
> 
> admittedly i'm not as happy with the way this one turned out even after editing. i don't know how to fix it. i am aware your standards must be very low to have gotten this far into the story, but i'm asking you to lower them further for this chapter. thank you.
> 
> also i get all my gossip from the women at my church so that's where knocking US Cellular's roaming charges came from. someone mentioned it.

“You think Wishful would work best on these guys?” Willow shuffled through her deck.

“I’m looking it up, so chill.” Zak had his nose in his phone. Willow had to yank him by the elbow to keep him from slamming into a lamp post.

“What’s that?” Peter pointed at a large sign that quite clearly displayed ‘Peter Pan’s Flight’ on it.

“Ah crap, I forgot we had to go past that.” Willow groaned. “Look, I don’t know what to tell you. You’re aware the whole Other-Land is anchored to Disney World, right?”

“What’s Disney World?”

Willow groaned again.

While she tried to explain what Disney World was, Zak had pulled up the page and shuffled through his deck, pulling Gross cards to the front. “Willow,” he interrupted. “Facilier’s on the wiki page. It says he’s weak against Gross, but Charming isn’t effective. I’d be willing to bet money that the same would go for Pitch, if he’s the same shadow man as we’re fighting.” Tink chimed something from where she was hidden in Willow’s unruly mane of black curls. Peter didn’t translate, but whatever it was made him frown.

Contrary to Willow’s expectations from the movies, the fairy had taken quite a liking to the girl. It was probably because Willow had saved Peter’s life, or because she had yet to show any real signs of romantic interest in the (physically) much younger boy, but honestly she was just pleased that Tink didn’t seem likely to commandeer some Lost Boys to shoot her out of the sky. Unfortunately, it also seemed like she couldn’t communicate in anything but bells outside the portal, but her bells were quite pretty, and anyway Peter could translate.

“Hey Peter, where are the Lost Boys? Are they a thing?” Willow suddenly asked.

“Them? Oh, they’re fine I’m sure. The Indians will take care of them.” Peter shrugged as though he hadn’t thought of it. She supposed that matched the canon. The Peter Pan in the movies had been reckless, and didn’t seem to care much about anyone, even his Lost Boys, although it had taken her a few years and a few viewings to notice. She supposed she shouldn’t be surprised that this Peter seemed to be shaping up to be about the same way.

Willow pulled her key out of her deck. “Okay, are we jumping in, balls to the wall and guns blazing, or strategizing a little more before we head into this?”

“I say guns blazing, no strategy.” Zak took his own key out.

“I second that,” Peter added. Tink chimed what sounded like an agreement.

Willow snickered. “Why we thought the ones who never have a plan should go off on their own is beyond me. Guns blazing it is. And, let's do ourselves a favor and keep the whole movie thing on the down low, okay?”

Zak readily agreed with that. Peter didn't seem like he knew what he was agreeing with, but he did. They lifted their keys up to the keyhole.

In the next second a pair of large hands grabbed the teenagers by the collar and dragged them into the portal (and by extension, the fairy girl and flying boy clinging on for dear life).

“What the fuck--!” Willow instinctively cursed as she hit the floor. Heart pounding loudly in her ears, Willow scooped her deck up from the ground, fumbling with the cards as she cursed the loss of organization, picking one at random and holding it at the ready in one trembling hand as she tried in vain to assess the situation.

Her eyes met a pair of black boots standing just in front of her, each one bigger than her entire head. She almost used every single colorful word in the book, but managed to keep them in her lungs. Nearby, however, Zak had no qualms about running through his vocabulary. Forcing herself to look up, her eyes were met with the sight of the largest, jolliest, red-cheeked face she’d ever seen.

 _Now_ she yelped out a curse, scrambling backward so that the face didn’t fill her vision anymore. Tinker bell darted out of her hair, her angry red glow blending with the face as she berated the biker boy Santa.

“Ah ah ah, naughty list!” Santa waggled a finger at the fairy, displaying an arm with those words tattooed onto it in a large calligraphy font. His thick accent sparked something in Willow, and she suddenly realized who it was: North, from _The Rise of the Guardians,_ the film from god-knows-when. Because of course it was.

“Yeah, naughty list since I was nine,” Zak grumbled, finally ceasing his swearing stream as he sat up and all but glared at the buff Santa.

North shrugged. “I don’t make rules in other land.”

“Sure you don’t.” Zak dragged himself to his feet. Willow chose to remain seated as the fuming Tinker Bell nestled herself in the other girl’s wild curls again. She focused on her breathing, trying to stop the tremors in her hands. If she flashed back every time anything like that happened then this adventure wasn’t going to go so well for her.

“Enjoy the ride?” _Damnit_. She’d recognize that voice anywhere.

“Fuck off, frost face.” Her voice dripped with a lack of amusement as she stuffed her hands in her pockets to hide the trembling. Now wasn’t the time.

“Wow, so testy!” Jack Frost slipped slowly down through the air to sit leisurely on a rail nearby.

“Why don’t we drag you unexpectedly through a portal again, how does that sound to you?” Willow shot back. “But first, we’ll introduce you to a world you’ve never known or guessed or even _thought_ to guess existed, and then immediately tell you that you’re the only hope for its survival at the present moment, and see how you feel.” She rubbed her face. If this was any indicator of how the quest was going to go, she was going to have some serious mental health issues.

“And to think, this was supposed to be our vacation,” Zak mumbled in her ear.

“No time for vacation,” North bellowed. “Pitch is on the loose.”

“Yeah, so we heard.”

“Wait. Wait a minute.” The Easter Bunny came out of the shadows. “Merlin said that we were expecting two sorcerers. Who the hell is this kid?” He lifted Peter off the ground by his shirt collar with one of his oversized rabbit paws. Peter scowled, pushing Bunny’s arms away and floating into the air, too high for Bunny to reach.

“That’s Peter Pan,” Zak answered, when Peter didn’t seem like he would be breaking his angry stare off with Bunny anytime soon.

The Tooth Fairy fluttered closer, her usual crowd of mini fairies flitting around her. “And you two are?” She prompted.

“Oh. Right. Um, I’m Willow.”

“Hi." He waved. "I'm Zak." He stuck his cards in his back pocket, beginning to flip his phone in the air. “What’s the sitch?”

They looked confused. "The- what?"

"Situation," Zak elaborated. "It's a- Kim Possible thing." His cheeks reddened. Willow nudged his shoulder, a gentle reminder that she stood beside him. The Guardians took it in stride, and he visibly relaxed.

“It’s Pitch," Tooth explained. "He and this- Doctor something are trying to take over Fantasyland on the other side. Um- your side.” Tooth corrected herself, adding the last words for clarification. “So they’ve been trying to steal one of North’s snow globes from the Pole.”

“Can that open a gateway between the sides?” Willow frowned.

“We tested it, and no. It can’t.”

“But Pitch can’t know,” North added. “This way, he keeps coming to us. We know his plans.” He tapped his forehead.

“Okay, but he’s also got Dr. Facilier. God knows what sorts of power he can conjure up.” Willow frowned suddenly, turning to Zak. “I only saw that one once, what sorts of power does he have?”

Zak shrugged. “Beats me, I just know classic princess trivia. It’s probably just about everything you’d expect from an evil voodoo master who perpetuates negative stereotypes about the practice. He calls on malicious spirits who get rightfully pissed at him when he can’t follow through his end of the bargain. And there’s a biting necklace that can turn you into something else if it bites them and gets some of their blood. That’s like, all I remember.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket, unlocking it and checking to see if his data reached to the Alter-Land. “How bad do you think the roaming charges will be?” He directed the question towards Willow.

“Depends, who do you have?”

“U.S. Cellular.”

“I hear they’re horrible with roaming charges, so you’re screwed.”

“. . . dammit.” He sighed. “Well, too late now. At least I’ve still got service.” His eyes scanned over the page. “Hey, Wishful attacks work on the shadows.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Bunny demanded. He still hadn’t looked away from Peter, and their staring competition was still going strong. Somehow.

“What, Wishful attacks? It’s the type, there’s seven types-”

“No, the attacks- Just the whole concept!” He broke eye contact to glare in frustration at the teens. Peter smirked in victory.

Willow pulled her card deck out of her pocket. “They’ve all got a certain attack on them. I’m pretty sure how effective they are depends on how well you matched the card type to the person you’re using it against.” She studied the ensemble to give examples. “For example, Bunny’s pretty speedy so Quick wouldn’t work on him, North looks to me like he could bench press the entire globe without breaking a sweat, so Strong attacks would be worse than useless against him.” She gestured towards the giant globe as she spoke, suddenly wondering if she was tripping on some hardcore acid and that was why she wasn’t losing her mind about being _in the freaking movie set_.

“It’s a deck of cards. Your only weapon is a deck of cards.” Jack’s voice dripped with sarcasm.

“And yours is a stick,” Willow snapped. “No worries, I’m also armed with an annoying amount of sass and no regard for my mental or physical health.”

“Also, they’re spell cards-” Zak stopped halfway through the statement. “Wait shit, how would they even work on this side?”

Willow paused. “I. . . actually didn’t think about that,” she admitted.

“Alright, so we’ve got two teenagers with weapons they can’t use, and another flying pain in the ass,” Bunny grumbled. “That’s it, then. We’re done for.”

“Only with that attitude.” Willow fished her own phone out of her pocket, thanking her lucky stars that the screen hadn’t cracked during the rough entrance. She punched in a number and held the phone to her ear. “Hey Kari . . . No, we’re fine. Listen, do you maybe know how to use the spell cards in the portal?”

As they talked, the shadows on the walls deepened. “Willow. . .” Zak’s voice shook with an underlying warning.

The girl in question sighed, nodding at him to signal she’d heard. “I’m going to have to call you back . . . no, everything’s fine . . . you stay safe now . . . yep, see you then, good luck.” She pressed the end call button. “Merlin said it was different for all the lands over here, so she didn’t know. So it looks like we’re learning on the fly.”

A dark humanoid figure appeared on the globe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you would not believe the shit cringe i had to save you from. i wrote this chapter back when i wanted to curse, but wouldn't let myself, because parents. who didn't like that. now i don't care, so i was able to swap out my shitty cuss word replacements for words that actually make more sense and don't make you want to vomit.
> 
> to give you a quick taste, one of the ones i edited out of this chapter was 'mother of a cherry on top'. so. you're welcome.


	5. The Lesbians Witness the Adults Acting Petty Because This is Peak Young Adult Fiction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Tony Stark gets in a fight, Mr. Incredible loses his temper, and Helen Parr has her hands full (again).
> 
> AKA In this chapter I realized that with this writing style, I cannot write the Avengers for dick diddly. Prepare yourselves.
> 
> Also if the writing style changes halfway through the chapter, that's because this was the one which began my week long grind so the rest of them were written basically at the same time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a comment and a kudos so here's a new chapter. Thanks @bellaships .
> 
> happy labor day weekend y'all.

Kari sighed, pulling the phone from her ear. “Well isn’t that nice.”

“Did she hang up?” Lottie asked.

“Said she’d call me back.” The girls glanced around the area, unnerved by the silence around them. Merlin had given them a crash course in how their magic worked in the Alter-Tomorrowland and popped out of there, saying something about Hades getting ‘too close for comfort’. Either way, they had bigger things to worry about.

Supposedly, the Incredibles were arguing with the Avengers, or specifically, Tony Stark, and while they were losing their minds, Quicksilver was tearing up the place. Meanwhile, the Robinsons were trying to hold the place together and evacuate the citizens before the entirety of Tomorrowland got destroyed. And that’s not even _mentioning_ that Civil War continuity was a thing (although only up to Civil War), so tensions were high.

“Hang on, I need to check the itinerary. I forgot when the performance was.” She bent her head over the phone. “Think you could navigate and make sure I don’t run into a wall?”

“I’ve got you.” Lottie looped her arm through the other girl’s and headed off through the building. Thankfully, the portal had dropped them in the New Avengers facility, where the arguments were raging, instead of in the middle of a street somewhere.

The far off sound of a distant explosion told her that _he_ was probably on the other side of Alter-Tomorrow, but also that meant nothing when you were dealing with a super fast enough to catch bullets in midair. He could probably do a lap around all of Disney World in half a second. All the kingdoms, not just the Magic one.

“Place your bets, who’re we going to have to beat the sense into once we get there?” Kari finished up and put her phone back in her pocket to conserve its battery life.

“All of them,” Lottie predicted. “Except maybe the younger Incredibles”

Obviously, they knew enough to follow the shouting and explosions. It was only common sense to assume a rational discussion between Tony Stark and a guy shown to have little patience (Mr. Incredible) would result in fighting eventually. The sound of shattering glass alerted them to the fact that someone probably just got thrown through a window.

“You’d’ve thought they’d have broken all the glass by this point,” Kari noted, having to shout to be heard the closer they got.

“Maybe someone’s fixing it,” Lottie suggested. “What company’s _Wreck It Ralph_ from?”

“It’s Disney. I think. I’m pretty sure anyway. Think it’s in Tomorrowland or Fantasyland?”

“Tomorrowland,” Lottie responded after a moment’s deliberation. “It’s about a video game after all.”

“But it’s about a video game in arcade times,” Kari reminded her. “Not exactly tomorrow. And plus, the main plotline takes place actually inside the video game hub. I say Fantasyland.”

“You’re probably right. But if you’re not, you owe me a milkshake.”

“Deal."

They pushed the door open to reveal the battleground.

Per their expectations, Mr. Incredible was throwing things, Mrs. Incredible was trying to keep him under control, and Tony Stark was in his Iron Man suit, dodging tables and shooting plasma blasts and making more debris that Mr. Incredible then threw at him. It was complete chaos. None of the adults had noticed they’d even entered.

“How do we get their attention?” Lottie questioned in a shout.

“Maybe Pocahontas’s Colors of the Wind?” Kari suggested. Lottie nodded, pulling the card out of her deck and grinning slightly.

“I’m starting to really like this spell.” She tossed the card into the center of the room. A wind kicked up, blowing a whirlwind of leaves into the air, pushing the flying items off course and pinning the fighting supers against the wall. Violet, who’d been leaning against a wall and rolling her eyes at the tussling adults, looked only mildly windblown by the spell. Dash, of course, was completely unaffected. He always looked windblown.

“Damn,” Kari whispered under the sudden silence, void of the howling wind _and_ the loud shouting and crashing. “These spells are selective. Smart things.”

“Who are you and how did you get in here?” Tony Stark was quick to demand, the sound of his blasters recharging reaching their ears.

“Hello, I’m Kari. This is my girlfriend Lottie, lovely to meet you. Merlin sent us to get you to figure your sh-” Lottie elbowed her in the stomach.

“To get you to work together to keep the city from falling apart,” Lottie finished the explanation.

“It was pretty simple to get in, really,” Kari added. “Apparently your security has gone to-”

“ _Kari!_ ”

“Fine, fine. Sorry.” Kari hmphed and crossed her arms, giving her girlfriend a teasing look.

“Merlin sent you?” Mrs. Incredible asked.

“Merlin,” Stark scoffed, even as Mrs. Incredible’s stretched limbs shrank back and let go of where they’d been trying to keep her husband and the billionaire from punching the lights out of each other. His mask popped open to reveal his face and he continued. “Hard to rely on some all powerful wizard from a _myth_.”

“You literally belong to Disney now, they’re all about fantasy stories. Get used to it already.” Kari rolled her eyes. Lottie squeezed her hand, giving her a look.

“So what’s the problem? Why are you fighting each other instead of whatever’s destroying the city?” Lottie asked.

She should’ve structured her inquiry better, since the two adult men began to speak at once, attempting to talk over each other. She chewed on her lip, too scared to shout them down. Her eyes darted between the shouting men and the card still lying where she’d thrown it.

Thankfully, Mrs. Incredible noticed the girl’s overwhelmed expression and shut the men up for her. “Sorry about that, you go ahead.”

Lottie nodded, pushing her fear down, doing a quick back and forth in her head. “Let’s hear Mr. Stark’s side first.”

Mr. Incredible huffed. Stark ignored him, a scowl on his face. “This comic book joke of a hero can’t manage to help without causing millions in property damage and causing even more civilian casualties.” Stark jabbed his finger in the man’s direction. “He can’t handle fighting someone with superpowers because he’s used to pulling cats out of trees and stopping common bank robberies. And yet he insists on fighting, despite him being a danger to everyone out there!”

She nodded, then turned to Mr. Incredible, indicating that it was his turn. The other man began to speak, with a scowl of his own in place. “He refuses my help on account of something as unavoidable as civilian casualties in a situation like this, and refuses the help of his own team members, which my wife so kindly suggested he get, insisting that he can handle this on his own!” Mr. Incredible’s voice raised into a shout, like it had in the movie when he argued with his boss. “But can he? Because he doesn’t seem to be doing a good job right now!”

Lottie nodded, turning to look at Kari. The other girl shrugged, shifting her stance with a lifted eyebrow. She got the message loud and clear, _you’re the more rational one. I trust you._

“Well. . .” Lottie surveyed the two men as they stared each other down. “While I do agree that property damage and civilian casualties should be avoided, I can’t exactly tell how much damage Mr. Incredible has been causing so I can’t make a stance on that. What I can take a stance on is accepting the help of as many allies as possible.” She turned her attention fully to Stark, who was wholly focused on her. “Why are you refusing the help of others?”

“They’re criminals,” he said hotly. “They broke the law, and they deserve to rot in jail.”

“And where are the ones who fought by your side? The ones that signed the contract with you? Where are they?”

“Not here,” he spat. “Rhodey’s in recovery. Where the others are, I don’t know.”

“You don’t even know where your crime fighting superhero friends are?” Mr. Incredible said incredulously.

“Oh like you know where yours are either!” Stark snapped back.

“Yes I do! We always talked in the old days, and some of us kept in contact even after the old days ended.”

“Yeah well this isn’t some old movie where you go out and get a cup of coffee with your ‘pals’ after saving the city.” Stark’s face darkened. “I work and try time and time again because if I fail, it’s not a bank that’s in danger, it’s the whole world, and if I’m even just _barely_ too late or too weak--” he lifted his arms and dropped them with a sound effect-- “then that’s it! Seven billion people die, and it’s my fault. Not just some hundred in a bombing attempt.”

Mr. Incredible growled. “Don’t you dare try to downplay my work. I do just as much as you.”

“Oh yeah?” Stark taunted. His suit mask snapped down, the propulsion jets on his hands and feet warming up. Mr. Incredible didn’t even bother to respond, just lunged again, and just like that the room dissolved back into virtual chaos. Mrs. Incredible sighed, shaking her head and glancing back at the girls with an expression like, _what are you gonna do?_ before she too jumped back into the fray.

“You know, I kind of thought they’d be a little more mature,” Kari noted.

“Me too.”

The sorcerers’ heads turned as Violet pushed herself away from the wall, walking over.

“You have a plan?” she asked.

“Well, we did. It didn’t quite turn out, as you can tell.” Lottie gestured at the tussling adults.

“Yeah.” Violet turned her head to one side. “Well, I guess we could see if the Robinsons need help? I mean, I guess we can’t get to the other Avengers.”

“Do we even know where they are?” Kari sighed, massaging her forehead. “Last I checked they were in some deep ocean prison.”

“No!” Dash chimed in, his higher voice immediately catching their attention. “They’re just downstairs!”

For a second, they were stunned. “How’d you figure that out?” Kari asked.

Dash shrugged. “Like you said, his security’s not that good anymore. I wandered around while they were fighting and found a bunch of cells in the basement.”

Lottie nodded, a smile breaking her face. “That’ll work.”

“And with their help, we can take out the other speedy guy,” Violet vocalized.

“Perfect.” Kari grinned. “I’ve always wanted to orchestrate a prison break.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unedited. it's late. i'm tired. i'll do it later.
> 
> also i wasn't kidding when i said i couldn't write the avengers. like idk what it is but i'm not at all satisfied with my characterization of them, so if you would like to finish this out, are an MCU fan, and want to have a good experience while doing so just,,, lower your expectations a tad, please. i don't know how to fix it.
> 
> also the incredibles. i have no idea why suddenly they're all hard for me to write. usually i'm good at this. then again, maybe i just have unusually high standards. idk.
> 
> anyway if they're bad i apologize. standard rules apply. have a good weekend. i'll see you when the next person interacts (after a couple days; i don't want all the updates to happen right next to each other. i let it slip down the search results before bumping it up again bc i'm a view wh*re y'know)


	6. hey, ho, there they go. now what (The Reckless Ones)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Pitch is a poorly written ass, there's some poorly written angst, and Dr. Facilier is only good for one thing.
> 
> or
> 
> I don't know how to write, apparently. Things happen in really quick succession and idek if it makes any sense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess which fuckin idiot lost a fight with a tape measure and fucked up her pointer finger? this oneeeeeee
> 
> so it's really fucking annoying to type, i'll just say that. and scroll. mostly scroll. this hurts. you better appreciate the work i do for you nerds. i keep trying to move the mouse with my finger, but not only is it painful but it also doesn't work. because i am wearing a bandaid.
> 
> anyway, here's the next chapter. it's kinda short, sorry. like even shorter than normal short.
> 
> Thanks to the two kudos and one bookmark, your validation is incredibly appreciated.

It had never really been on Zak’s bucket list to tussle with the Boogeyman in real life. Sure, he was a fun movie villain, but he’d have preferred it stay that way. Now, seeing the monochrome man standing on top of North’s globe, he was really taking the chance to rethink his priority list during the man’s monologue.

“I assume the sorcerers have arrived,” the shadow man drawled. Zak stiffened. He hadn’t realized Pitch hadn’t seen them yet, although he supposed it made sense. At the first hint of the man, Jack had shoved him behind a pillar. Peter hadn’t fared as well, as Bunny had snatched his hands and slung him under the control panel. Zak locked eyes with Willow, whose face shone with the same realization from where she was concealed behind North’s large frame.

“What’s it to you?” Bunny snarled, his hands (paws?) clenched tight around his boomerangs. Taking a chance, Zak pulled his phone out of his pocket, moving agonizingly slowly.

Pitch sounded amused. “Well if they have arrived, I suppose they’ll be joining you in your desperate defense of the pole.” Zak angled the device, catching Pitch in the reflection as he ambled across the US / Canada border, smirking. “Which, I’d think, is my business.”

Willow squinted at Zak questioningly. He made a face right back, not sure how to tell her not to question it with just a facial expression. He’d never been good at Charades.

“Your ‘business’ isn’t here.” Even though Jack’s face wasn’t visible, Zak had a pretty good guess as to what it looked like. “You’re not getting any of those snow globes.” He took a step forward. “Why don’t you crawl back under the bed.”

“I’m wounded.” Pitch scoffed.

“Look mate, if you came for a fight, you’re going to get one,” Bunny snarled. “Let’s skip the talk.”

“I had no idea you were so eager to begin.” Pitch studied his nails. “Very well. Dr. Facilier, if you please?”

The hair on Zak’s neck stood up as the smooth response came from much, much closer than he’d expected. “My pleasure.”

A cloud of pink suddenly enveloped the area, and everything went completely dark, the kind of dark that pressed at your eyes in that uncomfortable way. Zak stopped breathing, yanking his phone back to his chest.

“You really thought I would do all this for the globes?” Pitch asked. “No, what I want is far more important.”

Zak tried to decide if it was worth it to turn on the flashlight when something collided with him, knocking him backwards. “Shit!”

“Sorry!”

It was Willow. He reached a hand out, trying to find the column again. Willow grabbed him by the collar and pulled him over to it. Through all of this, Pitch was laughing.

“Don’t play games!” North shouted, his boots clomping against the floor.

“I suppose you’re right, I shouldn’t beat around the bush,” Pitch said. Zak squeezed his eyes shut against the pressing darkness. “I didn’t come for the globes; oh no. I came for you.”

There was a rushing noise, and then silence.

Zak opened his eyes.

Even the soft light of the workshop was almost too much, but he worked through it, pulling himself to his feet. Willow struggled upright next to him, her back still pressed against the pillar. She glanced at him, like _do we dare?_ He shrugged, and chanced a glance at the rest of the workshop.

Empty. It was empty.

“Oh my god.”

Willow glanced around the other side. “Oh my god is right.”

Aside from an assortment of weapons left abandoned on the floor, it was as though the Guardians were never there. Not just them; all the Yetis were gone too. The only sound was the distant chimes of the tiny elves.

“So what now?” Zak asked. Peter emerged from beneath the control desk, brushing himself off and staring around the eerily empty space.

Willow shrugged, crouching down to try to lift one of North’s swords but quickly giving up. Tink appeared from within her mess of curls, flitting anxiously over to Peter where they began to have a fervent conversation. Zak saw Willow’s face fall when Tink’s voice still sounded like bells. She shook it off pretty quickly, turning to him. “Do we even really know what happened?”

“Facilier did something.” Zak chewed his lip. “The wiki page I read mentioned pink illusion powder; that’s probably where the shadows came from.”

“So we assume that Pitch transported them somewhere using the shadows?” Willow tapped her fingers across North’s blade and the floor.

“It’s the best we have.” Zak frowned. “Also, why did you think it was a good idea to sprint over to me at top speed with zero visibility?”

“I didn’t.” Willow huffed out a breath and stood again. “Pitch called for Facilier, and everything went dark. North picked me up and threw me.”

Zak whistled. “You’re damn lucky you landed on me and not the pillar.”

“I know.” She wandered over to where Jack’s staff lay discarded on the floor, next to Bunny’s boomerangs. “I’m even more damn lucky North thought that fast and I didn’t get transported with them.” She picked up the staff, staring at it without really seeming to see it. He noticed the usual glaze of frost was missing from its surface. When she continued, her voice sounded different than before, heavier, and a little childlike. “You think he actually needs the staff?” She turned to him. “You know- for his powers.” She hid her face behind a hand for a second, and he realized she was crying.

“I think it’s like a direct conductor,” he said lightly. “You know, it doesn’t have any powers itself but it helps focus his.”

She nodded absently, looking back to the staff.

“Are you okay?” Peter’s voice was uncharacteristically soft. Zak glanced at the other boy to see an expression of confusion and concern on the boy’s face.

Willow nodded again, dabbing her eyes with a sleeve. “Yeah, sorry.” She shook her head with a wry laugh. “It just kind of hit me all at once.” She glanced up at her friend. “God, Zak, what did we get ourselves into?”

He didn’t know how to answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey so i rewatched Rise of the Guardians over the weekend and wrote a little transcript of the original characters cracking wise at the film (pre-story) just to get a better feel for how they might act or react to things and whatever, so idk if you guys are interested in seeing that, but i can make another work with those kinds of shorts in it if anyone wants.
> 
> like, as a bonus. none of it is essential. just extras. i mean, i'm probably gonna keep writing them bc, y'know, gotta get to know my characters, but i just wondered
> 
> also, i've regained some inspiration for the story via rewatching Rise of the Guardians and now have another three chapters ready for posting. i now have 12 chapters lined up and ready to post. just say the word.
> 
> (also does anyone know how to write hiccup, because i thought i had a handle on his character but i can't write the boy for beans i apologize)


	7. The Lesbians orchestrate a prison break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friday is helpful, Dash is suddenly a pivotal character, and the rare straight couple makes an appearance.
> 
> or
> 
> I explain away some OOC behaviors in a bullshit exposition dump and introduce some new characters to underuse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't write the Avengers. I said it once, I'll say it again. They just don't fit this writing style in any easy way. If they're OOC, I apologize. Please offer any solutions you may have.
> 
> Please. I'm desperate.
> 
> Anyway thanks to the person who left the ninth kudos. I think it was a guest. Shoutout to you, guest. Here's your chapter.

“Damn, we’re really lucky,” Kari noted.

Lottie elbowed her. “Language!”

Tony’s security had fallen apart in the chaos surrounding Tomorrowland, getting so bad that Kari kicked the door to the control room and it just fell off its hinges. Kari was right, they _were_ lucky. But she needed to watch her language; Dash probably hadn’t even hit double digits yet.

“You think we’ll need to hack in?” Violet stepped over the fallen door and headed over to the keyboard, looking at it with interest.

“Oh god I hope not.” Kari groaned, following her in.

“But didn’t you take a couple classes on that?” Lottie frowned.

“I took an online coding course for a single month. That’s not nearly enough to measure up to a genius.” Kari surveyed the dark screens on the walls. “You think we can expect Jarvis or Friday?”

“Yes boss?”

The AI’s response startled the girl into jumping back with a strangled swear. Dash laughed. Kari stuck her tongue out at him.

“You’re not my boss.” Friday’s voice took on a cautious tone.

“Your boss is being a bit irrational at the moment,” Lottie said. She turned to Kari. “You think it’s because of the near death experience in New York? It could be Hades is amplifying his insecurities, since he probably doesn’t have enough control over him for much more.”

“That’s. . . really smart, actually.” Kari tapped her temple and pointed at her. “You’re onto something.” Lottie blushed with pride.

“How did you get in?” the AI asked.

“The door isn’t doing so hot,” Violet said. “It fell off the hinges.”

“There’s a rogue enhanced wreaking havoc in the city. Mr. Stark seems currently incapacitated and unable to deal with it himself. We need the Avengers,” Lottie explained, pulling the conversation back to their purpose.

The AI was silent for a long time. “It goes against my programming to disobey the boss.”

“It goes against his contract to disobey the government,” Kari countered. “We’re here on their orders.”

Thankfully, no one obviously let it be known that she’d made that up on the spot. Dash gave her a weird look, but didn’t say anything.

The AI didn’t respond out loud, but the dead screens sprang to life. Text scrawled across in glowing lines. Kari only recognized some of the commands she saw. Video feeds sprang up, displaying the cells of the other Avengers. Some of them looked like they had on the raft, like Ant Man’s and Hawkeye’s. Others looked a little different, like Scarlet Witch’s, whose accommodations lacked the shock collar from the movie scene. In addition, some members of Team Iron Man could, oddly, be found. All of them were crowded in the same cell, suggesting Tony had brought them all down and shoved them in cells in a fit of potentially Hades driven insanity. As they watched, the cell doors opened.

“How do we get there?” Kari asked, pulling her attention away from the video feeds.

“There, that’s a map.” Lottie pointed at the glowing display.

“Meet you there!” Dash was gone within seconds. The older girls exchanged a glance and followed after.

“Thank you Friday!” Lottie called as they exited. The AI didn’t respond, but the screens flickered and shut down again.

“Do you think Quicksilver did something to Tony’s systems?” Kari asked. “She doesn’t seem to be doing so hot.”

“There was an explosion over there about an hour ago.” Violet indicated the direction. “Dad and Mr. Stark wen to take care of it, but they started fighting when they came back in.”

“They’ve been fighting each other for an hour already?” Kari wrinkled her nose.

“I know right?” Violet shook her head. “I had no idea adults could act like that. Or that my dad could act like that. They’re acting like kids!”

“And the kids are acting like adults.” Lottie couldn’t help but laugh. “That’s irony if I ever heard it.”

Dash was waiting by a door. As they approached, he could be seen fiddling with a keypad next to the door. “It’s not opening!” he called over his shoulder, looking like he was trying to rip the keypad off the wall, his feet braced against the wall on either side of it.

Kari could see the green indicator next to the keypad, and frowned. “That’s odd.” She tried the handle. The door swung open.

“Oh.” Dash stared at it for a second, then dropped on his back to the floor. “Maybe I should’ve tried that.”

Violet rolled her eyes. “You’re ridiculous.”

Through the door were the cells.

Most of the enhanced were in the center of the ovular room, but some of the cells hadn’t opened. Kari’s frown deepened. Had something gone wrong?

Black Widow walked over to them, stone face. “Did you do this?”

“If you mean open the cells, yes?” Lottie squeaked. Acting on instinct, Kari took her hand and squeezed.

“Why did you only open some of them?”

“We actually had Friday do it,” Kari took over, noticing Lottie’s expression. “But something’s wrong with her systems, I think that’s why.”

She quickly took stock of the characters who’d been freed. She counted Scarlet Witch, Black Widow, Hawkeye, and Vision, which wasn’t as many as she’d been hoping, but it wasn’t as though she knew how to hack.

Black Widow mumbled something that vaguely sounded like a Russian swear word. “I can hack, but not Stark’s system. You know what’s wrong with him?”

“We’re thinking it’s Hades,” Violet spoke up for the first time, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“After the near death experience he had in New York, we’re thinking Hades has a bit of power over Stark. Not enough to control him, but enough to influence him to the point where he can’t get in the way,” Kari explained.

“In the way of what, specifically?”

“Of that speedy guy outside.” Dash tugged on his sister’s arm with a giggle. “Hey you think we’re cousins? We’re both fast.” He sped off, taking a lap around the room as though to prove it. “Huh? You think?”

“Shut up Dash,” Violet hissed.

“What speedy guy?”

Dash had caught the attention of the others in the area.

“What speedy guy?” Scarlet Witch repeated, glancing from him to the girls. Even the usually confident Kari felt the pressure, and she suddenly wished they hadn’t sent the insecure ones off by themselves.

“It’s- Pietro Maximoff.” She gave up stressing in favor of up and saying it. It wasn’t going to get any easier, after all, and they _had_ come for her help. It was her twin brother, after all. If anyone could knock some sense in him, it was her.

“Pietro?” Her voice was breathy, like she couldn’t believe it. “How?”

“Hades, Lord of the Dead, resurrected him and messed up his mind. We think.” Kari played with her bangs in a failed attempt to hide her expression. “I’ll admit, Lottie and I haven’t been outside yet.”

“So how do you know?”

“We’ve been out there.” Violet indicated herself and her brother. “Dash, you could see him, what’d he look like?”

“I dunno, old I guess.” Dash shrugged boredly. “He had gray hair, but the bits near his head weren’t gray. He’s fast too, as fast as me, but he had this cool silver trail too.” He turned to his sister. “Why can’t _I_ have a trail?”

Scarlet Witch pressed a hand to her mouth. The Vision placed his hand on her shoulder, and she seemed to melt into the comfort without realizing.

“He’s been causing destruction in the city,” Violet explained. “The civilians have been evacuated, but he’s still on the loose.”

“And no one’s been able to subdue him?” Black Widow asked.

Violet shook her head. “Mr. Stark and my dad have been arguing. The Robinsons are focused on civilian evacuation and Big Hero Six took a hit to their tech and retreated to make repairs.”

“So what’s your plan?” Scarlet Witch asked.

Kari shrugged. “Try to jog his memory.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's kinda short. This plotline gave me problems. Which is ironic, considering when I originally discarded the story in 2016 ish, the Fantasyland plotline was giving me issues. Funny how that works.
> 
> Anyway, I'm currently doing a Peter Pan character study in my spare time so I can actually do his character justice, so I might make some minor edits to previous chapters. Anyway, if you see a reference to something you don't remember happening in future chapters, that'll probably be it. Don't worry, I'm too lazy to edit the entire story (or at least the plotline) so there won't be anything major. Just some dialogue and action change. (edit: i lied, rip)
> 
> idk hope you enjoyed i guess. see you at the next kudos.


	8. The Reckless Ones make a plan (or try to)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which The Stakes raise again (as though they needed to) and a magic staff is magical, to everyone's surprise.
> 
> or
> 
> I'm incredibly non-subtle about my intentions. Everyone with half a brain knows where this is going.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no self control and so am posting this chapter 4 days after the previous rather than 5 as I had wanted. This is dedicated to @PurplePinguPony because had they not commented this wouldn't have come out at all. Here's your chapter b, thanks for commenting. Love you.
> 
> Anyway I read this chapter over so many times and I'm still not satisfied but whatever it's as good as it'll get. Enjoy ig.
> 
> Also, thanks for 100 hits. I feel mildly validated.
> 
> Mildly.

“So what do we do?” Willow had reigned in her emotions. “We don’t know where the Guardians are, we don’t know how to use our spells, and Hades and his minions just keep getting stronger.”

“We get help,” Peter said. “If we can’t find and save them ourselves, we get someone to help us out.”

Willow snapped her fingers and pointed at him. “Brilliant. You’re a genius.” The boy grinned confidently.

“We should get Dreamworks,” Zak suggested, idly playing with one of Bunny’s boomerangs that he’d snatched off the ground. “A Dreamworks character, I mean. Since we’re up against a Dreamworks villain to save Dreamworks characters.”

“I mean, we’re against a Disney villain too,” Willow pointed out.

“We have Disney spells and two Disney characters already,” Zak countered, indicating the characters in question. “And from what I’ve seen, Pitch is our biggest threat here.”

“Alright so who do we know that’s Dreamworks?” Willow’s brow furrowed in thought.

“What’s Dreamworks?” Peter asked, confused.

“A movie company,” she answered distractedly. “They came up with all this.” She indicated the workshop with a wave of her hand. "Or- I guess wrote it down? Since it exists? Or it exists because it- you know what we're not getting into it."

“Willow.” Zak grinned. “Willow, guess who’s Dreamworks? Willow guess.”

“No and fuck you!” She acted like she was going to hit him with Jack’s staff. “We are _not_ going to ask Shrek to help us.”

Zak pouted. “But Willow!”

“ ‘Get outta my swamp!’ ” she imitated the legendary line.

He faked a sigh. “I was really hoping.”

“No, we’re going to find Berk.”

“Is he Dreamworks?”

“Yeah. You remember, they hijacked the logo?” She frowned as he shook his head. “Maybe that was a different movie. But he’s Dreamworks.”

“Okay nice. So how do we get there?”

“Well,” she started, chewing on her lip, “I figure with the setting, he’s in Adventureland somewhere. So, we find a portal out of here and head that way.”

“Okay.” Zak dropped down to snatch Bunny’s other boomerang off the floor. Admittedly, he hadn’t thrown one in a couple years, but it felt better than just having the spell cards, which he still didn’t know how to use. “So where do we find the portal?”

Willow pulled out her map, and gasped. “It changed!”

The two boys and fairy hurried over to her. She was right, the map had changed. Instead of showing where the portals were in the park, the section names all held the prefix ‘Alter’. She flipped it to find the section labeled ‘Alter Fantasyland’. Instead of a map of the area around the carousel like before, it was labelled with places like ‘Cinderella’s Castle’ and ‘Beast’s Kingdom’. The circular portal markings were the only thing that hadn’t changed design.

Peter pointed at the space labelled ‘North Pole’. Tink fluttered down to land on the map in the marked space. “There we are.”

“Wait, the portal over us is marked in black. Why’s it black?” Willow’s brow furrowed.

Zak scanned through the writing to the side of the map. “ ‘Out of commission.’ ” He read aloud. “It’s broken.”

“It has to be because the Guardians are gone.” Willow snapped her fingers. “Merlin lost power in this area, so the portal lost power too.”

Zak whistled lowly. “Then the stakes are higher than we thought.”

Tink chimed, then walked across the map to the closest operational portal mark. “Rapunzel’s tower.” Willow read. “Perfect. Zak, you know where that portal lets out?”

“They all let out behind the castle.” He shrugged. “There’s not really much distance between them.”

“Great.” Tink took flight again and Willow folded the map back up. “Here, give me the boomerangs.”

“Do you even know how to use them?” Zak asked skeptically.

Willow rolled her eyes. “My cousins and I used to knock beer bottles off the fence during family reunions for hours. We made a game out of it, first to seven. I’m winning with a 13 to nil record.”

He handed her the weapons. “Just don’t break them, Miss Champion.”

“Course not.” She wound up like she was going to throw, practicing.

“Here, give me the staff. I was on Color Guard, I can use it.”

She snorted, but held it out all the same. “Like Color Guard’s going to help you take out an enemy with it.”

“Better than a sword I can’t lift.” He rolled his eyes, reaching out to grab the staff.

And dropped it.

“Oh my god, Zak are you okay?” Willow dropped to her knees next to him in a second, looking between him and the staff. “What the hell happened?”

“I- have no idea.” He shook like a leaf, not looking away from it. “I touched it and just-” He shook his head. “God, I can’t explain it.”

“It didn’t do anything when I touched it.” Frowning, she reached out and poked the stick. “Maybe you’re just extra sensitive to something?”

“I don’t know.” He wrapped his arms around himself. “I don’t know what happened.”

It was just a flash, a flash of darkness, and for a second he felt completely different; he felt scared and somewhere completely different. It felt angry. It felt hopeless. It was almost like how he imagined a dementor attack would feel. Everything was replaced by darkness.

But there was something else.

“Maybe you just shouldn’t touch it anymore,” Willow said. He agreed. But that something nagged at him.

“I don’t know, there was something up with that.” He pulled in a deep breath, and tentatively reached out. Willow sucked in a breath, but didn’t argue. His hand stalled a few inches away. He shook his head. “God, this is stupid. It’s a _stick_ , not some hairy tarantula- actually, I don’t want to think about that.”

“Agreed,” Willow mumbled. He touched the staff.

The feeling with different. Instead of the overwhelming angry, helpless feeling it was softer, confused but curious. The anger was still there, pulsing in the background, but it abruptly vanished. And then a voice. “Who’s there?”

He recognized that. “Frost?”

“Zak?”

“Yeah, what the hell?” His eyes really were taking their sweet ass time to adapt to whatever light level this was, but he could make out the spirit’s form. The scene flickered slightly, flashing between the workshop and- wherever this was.

“You tell me.”

“I tell you?” He picked up the staff, crossing his arms. “I touched your staff and now I’m here. You tell me.”

“You-” The other boy broke off, frowning. “How did that-?”

“Frost,” a tired voice, unmistakably Bunny, spoke up, “who are you talking to?”

“Zak, you know.” Jack gestured to him.

“There’s no one there,” Tooth said gently.

“Role reversal,” Zak mumbled. “Now isn’t that something.”

The whole scene flickered again, before returning. Jack was frowning. “Why do you keep cutting out like that?”

“I’m not doing anything; I have no idea.” He squinted around. “The hell is this place?”

Jack shrugged. “Pitch’s lair.”

“I should’ve guessed.” Now that his eyes had finally adjusted, he surveyed the area, recognizing it as the setting from in the movie. He and Jack were in one of the cages originally inhabited by the Baby Tooths (Baby Teeth?). It wasn’t really big enough for the both of them. He could see the vague shapes of the other Guardians in other cages suspended throughout the room, except Sandman. Whether that meant he was gone or just in another room, Zak didn’t know. He wasn’t sure he wanted to. “Should I assume it’s in the same place as the first time?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t see the entrance.”

“Oh can you _shut up_ , mate?” Bunny groaned, what Zak assumed was his cage swinging above them. Jack’s face darkened.

“He’s probably right though,” Zak admitted. “They can’t see or hear me, so Pitch can’t either, but he can hear you.” The other boy’s face filled with realization, and he nodded. “So uh, maybe try not to mention our names too much. Mine and Willow’s, I mean. It’s probably best he doesn’t know who we are or what we look like. Stealth and all that.”

He nodded again. “So you have a plan?” he whispered.

“We think so.” Zak breathed out. “Speaking of, I probably should stop wasting time. No offense.”

“Yeah.” The other boy slumped down. “Think you can get back?”

“There, or here?”

“Both.”

“Pretty sure, yeah.” Zak fiddled with the staff, his fingers tapping over it. “I’ll be back.”

Jack nodded absently. The scene flickered again, and disappeared completely. They didn’t have time to say goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm still doing some editing. I made a list of stuff on my planning doc under the heading 'Hey, howdy, it’s the inappropriately themed Editing Cowboy' with a lot of things that start with 'do better' underneath it. Anyway I've been changing some parts, nothing that affects the chapters I've already posted thus far. I'll let you know if anything changes.
> 
> idk it's just kinda bad, I feel like, but also idk how to fix it so y'know. Because I wrote it. And I'm still at the same skill level as when I wrote it. So I haven't gotten better. And I can't tell when I failed.
> 
> So if things grate on you wrong, just tell me. Or if they don't, please reassure me that they don't. Because otherwise I'll assume the worst and keep making some freaking edits.
> 
> Anyway, first relationship in the tags, bitches. (I guess I should put the lesbians up there too? eh)


	9. The Lesbians do some Cognitive Recalibration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which something learned in school is actually useful, murder is an option, and the dead guys throw a wrench in things.
> 
> or
> 
> What do you mean there's a better way to write about things the characters don't see but the audience needs to know is happening?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I SUCK AT ACTION WRITING

Quicksilver was easy to find. It wasn’t like he was trying to hide, and the sounds of destruction were hard to miss. It was a bit of a shock, for the sorcerers, to see this movie character racing around a courtyard and leaving destruction in his wake. He was like a blur, and hadn’t stopped moving since they’d turned the corner. Wanda stepped forward.

“Pietro!”

He froze.

Wanda called to him in Russian, or Sokovian, or whatever the language was called. Kari didn’t speak the language, but just from the tone the meaning was clear, _what are you doing? Throw off his control, come back to me._

Kari didn’t move the whole time, scared that even a small motion would spook him like a deer and ruin the whole thing, but in the end it didn’t matter. The speedster bolted, leaving a train of dust in his wake. Kari let out a breath.

“Well that didn’t work,” Clint mumbled.

“Plan B,” Kari said, rubbing her temples. “Cognitive recalibration.”

That was a little harder. It would be difficult to hit the head of a guy who moved incredibly fast. Kari suspected even physics wouldn’t help with this, if he noticed it coming. She was running out of ideas, sketching plans and formulas on the ground in sidewalk chalk.

“Okay let’s think about it this way,” Lottie said as Kari scribbled out her latest attempt. “What’s stopped him before?”

“Well,” Kari chewed her lip. “Ultron was only able to get him because he sacrificed himself for someone else, but we don’t have anyone like that so strike that. Hawkeye got him because he was standing on a glass floor and he put a bullet through that, which we don’t have. Steve was able to knock him down, but he was already down and we won’t have that chance. And he was already down because he tried to grab Thor’s hammer and couldn’t lift it, I assume.”

“So, if we know Thor’s hammer can take him down, our question now should be ‘can we get it’. Right?”

“Right.” Kari blew out a breath, placing a quick peck on her girlfriend’s cheek. “You’re a genius.” Lottie blushed.

Kari sketched the hammer on the ground. Dash leaned over her shoulder. “Oh I saw that too!”

“Really?”

“Yeah, it looked cool but it was _really_ heavy.” He zoomed around to the other side of the drawing. “So I just left it there.”

“Left it where? Was Thor there?”

“Nah, I’d’ve freaked out.” Dash rubbed his hand across one of the rejected plans. “Mr. Stark said he was back in Asgard and we wouldn’t be seeing him.”

“But he just left his hammer here?” Kari frowned. “That doesn’t sound right.”

“Mr. Stark forcibly sent Mr. Odinson back to Asgard when the infighting began, citing a distrust for a creature from beyond our realm, without allowing time for him to collect his weapon.” Vision’s sudden voice startled the girls. “Why do you need his hammer?”

“It’s the only thing we could use that we know could take Quicksilver down for even a second.” Kari tapped her chalk idly against the ground. “Which is all we need. Theoretically, Hades hasn’t revived him with all his memories already in mind, otherwise he probably would’ve recognized his sister so he’ll forget what happened the last time he grabbed the hammer and try again.”

“I understand.” Vision nodded. “Would you like me to retrieve it for you?”

“If you could, that’d be awesome.”

He walked back over to where the adults were doing some strategizing of their own (Kari assumed; she wasn’t listening), leaving with Wanda a few moments later. She returned to sketching on the floor, talking the plan over with the other two girls.

“You think this’ll work?” Black Widow asked. Kari glanced up to see her skeptical expression.

“There’s a 60% chance of success.” She shrugged. “Although that’s just an estimate. But it’s the best plan we’ve got.”

“We could just kill him,” Widow said bluntly.

For a second, the only thing they could do was stare at her in mute shock.

“Okay, no,” Kari turned away from her formulas. “We’re not killing people. I’m aware that’s your normal strategy, but we’re not doing that. You’re going to have to think a little harder.”

“Think about it, he’s a menace running loose in the city,” Widow snapped. “We can stop him quicker this way.”

“He’s only causing property damage, everyone is gone!” Kari gestured around them at the ghostly empty city. “That hardy warrants the death penalty!”

“He’s dangerous.”

“Okay how about this.” Lottie stepped in, playing peacemaker again. “We try our plan, and if it doesn’t work, we’ll move on to plan C and play executioner.”

Widow’s eyes flashed. “Fine.”

Vision returned with the hammer shortly after, and the more experienced adults checked their rough draft over. They changed a few things, before agreeing the plan just might work. And if it didn’t, they’d have to go back to the drawing board. Floor. And they’d have to make it quick. If this plan didn’t work, and they couldn’t come up with anything else, then Quicksilver could die.

Kari hadn’t been this stressed since exam week. Or maybe ever.

“He’s sure taking his time,” Lottie whispered.

“Yeah.” Kari watched the street, despite knowing full well Dash was the only one who’d be able to see him coming. “How are you so confident this’ll work?”

“I’m not,” Lottie admitted. “But it definitely wouldn’t with any more infighting, so I went for a compromise.”

“Smart.”

Vision threw the hammer.

Kari didn’t see anything in real time, since it was all moving too fast, but she knew what was happening. Dash had hit Vision on the arm once Quicksilver had crossed the chalk mark Kari had made on the ground to show how far away he needed to be. Vision threw Thor’s hammer, and Quicksilver took the bait, the hammer’s momentum pulling him along and through the wall of the building across the street.

“It worked,” Lottie gasped.

Vaulting over the window ledge, Kari sprinted across the street to where Scarlet Witch and Black Widow were waiting, and stopped dead in the doorway, shocked at what she saw. Red energy wound around the speedster’s body, holding him immobile and slightly off the ground, but that was part of the plan. No, the shocking bit came from the other man, the one they hadn’t seen coming, the one whose throat Widow was holding a knife to.

“Tadashi?”

  


_“Baymax, what are you doing?”_

_Hiro clung to the bot, hearing his friends’ shouting fade into the distance. Baymax didn’t respond, staying steady on course. Hiro couldn’t do anything but stay on, watching the buildings flying past, the street far below. If he fell now, he’d die._

_Baymax dove down long after Hiro had lost track of the streets, landing on the ground in a walled off plaza. Hiro dropped off his back, stumbling back a few steps as he tried to regain his balance. “Baymax, what happened? Why are we here?” He stood in front of the bot, who didn’t look at him. He was incredibly still, too still. Hiro glanced around the dark area, uneasy. The only decoration in the plaza was a statue, covered by a metal awning to protect from rain._

_A noise caught his attention, and he turned to see a figure standing a few meters away, face hidden. “Who are you?” he demanded, backing up a step._

_The figure didn’t answer, merely walking forward. Their face caught the light for a second, only a second, but Hiro’s heart stopped._

_“. . . Tadashi?”_

_They stopped dead in place, face hidden again._

_“But, you died,” he continued in wonder. “I- I saw you go into the building. I saw you die, how are you-?” He moved toward them, toward his brother. “Why didn’t you-?” He broke off, running a hand through his already messy hair. The other boy stepped back, putting his face in light again. There was no mistaking his brother’s distinct profile, and yet, something was wrong. But this was his brother._

_He moved forward again, stopping in his tracks when another man appeared next to his brother, one hand placed on his brother’s arm. The two men made eye contact, seeming to have a silent conversation. Hiro shook off his surprise at the man’s appearance from seemingly nowhere, only to realize that somehow his hands had been cuffed behind him. He spun around clumsily, but there was no one else in the plaza, just him, the two men, and Baymax, still as a statue and a few meters away._

_When he turned back around, Tadashi was inches away, and his heart stopped. The boy’s usually warm brown eyes were completely black, like empty pits were his eyes were supposed to be. Hiro stumbled back, heart pounding. “What- what’s wrong with you?” he stammered._

_The boy didn’t answer, seizing his arm and dragging him over to the statue where the silver haired man was waiting. Neither responded to his pleading to be let go, for Tadashi to just talk to him, and before he could even blink, his hands were pinned above his head, his back pressed against the metal poles holding up the awning. He tugged against the cuffs, air leaving him in short breaths. They didn’t move._

_“Tadashi, please,” he begged. His brother didn’t move, just looked at him with that dead expression and his empty eyes. Then they were gone, and the plaza was quiet._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so anyway
> 
> the dialogue highkey sucks, the characters are ooc, and my characters are more than taking the stage they're stealing it so there you go. it's garbage. like OH MAN my stuff's been bad before but this takes the cake. i mean at least the narrator voice isn't COMPLETE trash.
> 
> anyway thanks for 11 kudos and 100+ hits. figured i'd wait for this story to drop down the listings so people would be more desperate to click on it when they saw it but,,, that didn't work so here we are. new chapter. enjoy ig


	10. The Reckless Ones find Corona, the land of manufactured tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which things go wrong, the kids bicker like siblings, and certain plot points, while important, are easily forgotten.
> 
> or
> 
> Choosing the dominant canon is hard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok sorry to @fantASSyland bc they left such a lovely comment on the last chapter and then i waited ten days to give them the chapter they deserve but here it is. shitty and probably rushed and poorly edited, but here it is.
> 
> i'm running out of pre written chapters, by the way. haven't had inspiration to continue writing (anything, really, any of my wips of which i have many). so, sorry. might run out

“I’ll admit, the map made her kingdom look a lot closer than this,” Willow said breathlessly, stopping at the crest of a hill to nurse her growing leg cramps.

Zak nodded his agreement, searching the horizon. They’d been able to see Rapunzel’s kingdom for the past probably thirty minutes, but it didn’t seem to get any closer. The journey wasn’t strenuous, exactly, but they did happen to be on a time limit. They needed to be back at the hotel at 11:30, and if they were still in the Alter-land, they weren’t exactly going to be able to make the deadline.

“How far is it, can you tell?” he called up to the boy floating in the air above him.

“Not that far now.” Peter had an amused grin at their struggle. At this point, Zak ignored it. His little cousin was like that too.

They weren’t sure what the dominant Tinker Bell canon was, otherwise they’d have suggested flying. They weren’t sure if her sharing pixie dust would cause her to run out, and since she couldn’t exactly get a refill in Alter-Fantasyland (as Pixie Hollow was in Alter-Adventureland) they didn’t want to chance it. So, they walked. It wasn’t any worse than school; it was actually better, without the mobs of underclassmen clogging every single doorway.

Willow sighed and pocketed her map, and they headed down the ridge into the forest between them and the castle. Zak was really hoping it wasn’t the one from _The Emperor's New Groove_.

As he walked, he turned Jack’s staff around his fingers. They still didn’t know why the last time he’d touched it, he’d seen the spirit, but now it wasn’t doing anything. It was just a stick, albeit a little cold.

According to Willow, after touching the stick he’d continued to move, so they’d heard what was basically one side of a phone call. She told him that she’d tried to interact with him, but he hadn’t responded. They hadn’t touched him, so they still didn’t know whether he’d register that while astral projecting or whatever he was doing, but at least they knew for sure he didn’t hear anything.

Willow amused herself by curving Bunny’s boomerangs around tree trunks and catching them again. She probably wasn’t kidding when she’d said she’d gone undefeated. He’d believe it, anyway.

“Yo, Zak, are you gone again?” Willow’s voice brought him back.

“Nah, I’m using my thought muscle. Gotta stretch it out; get ripped.” He shook his head. “Why?”

“Cause we’re here, dummy.”

The island kingdom looked exactly like it had in the movie, but seeing it in person was a lot more overwhelming than he’d thought. It was a gorgeous kingdom, shining like the sun on the water, which he supposed made sense. Rapunzel had gotten her power from the sun and the kingdom was called Corona, which was a part of the sun. Obviously, the Disney team thought it was important.

Willow glanced up. “Peter, maybe you should walk. I don’t really want to attract attention.”

“How would I attract attention?” he protested.

“We’re pretty far away from where you’re from; if Pitch or Dr. Facilier get wind that you’re here they might suspect that we’re on the case, if they don’t already,” Willow reasoned. “They already know Merlin got helpers, we shouldn’t give them our location.”

Grudgingly, he landed. Maybe his look was pretty obvious still, but he didn’t stand out any more than Zak and Willow did, with their modern clothes in a less than modern setting.

“So are we just going to knock on her castle door and hope to be let in?”

“We don’t need to hope.” Zak rolled his eyes. “Were you even paying attention last week? We literally just watched this movie.”

“Yeah at like 3 AM.” Willow stuck her tongue out. “Enlighten me, oh great one.”

“Rapunzel was a great queen and interacted with the townsfolk. That’s what the epilogue said. We aren’t going to have to hope to see her, and we probably won’t even have to play the Merlin card.”

“Isn’t that handy.”

They couldn’t help but gawk at the town like country bumpkins as they wandered through, although Zak tried to keep it at a minimum. He’d been to New York; gawking marked you as a tourist, someone new in town, a target for the pickpockets. He didn’t figure there’d be any pickpockets in Corona, which was a fairly wholesome kingdom from what he’d seen, but it never hurt to be careful. He kept one hand on the pocket with his phone and cards as they walked.

“Make sure to keep an eye on the shadows,” he hissed to his companions. “Remember, Facilier’s got friends on the other side that manifest like that.”

“No I didn’t _remember_ , I saw the movie once,” Willow hissed back, “but thanks for sharing. Anything else I should know?”

“They can affect us via our shadows, so if you feel something weird check your shadow.” Zak adjusted his grip on Jack’s staff. “Also we’re in a city, so watch for pickpockets.”

Peter glanced at the ground. “They can’t steal them, can they?” he asked worriedly. “Wendy isn’t here to sew mine back on.”

“I haven’t seen them steal shadows, but they’ll take both you and your shadow if we’re not careful.” Zak chewed his lip.

Willow snapped her fingers. “Didn’t he do that to Naveen? In the movie?”

“ _Now_ you remember.”

“It was an important plot point, of course I’d remember that.”

Tink chimed something. They glanced at Peter, wondering if he was going to translate it this time. “She says you should stop arguing.”

“We’re not arguing, it’s a friendly dispute.” Willow scrunched up her nose in mock offense, then dropped it. “I agree though, we should stop.”

“We’ll put a pin in that.” Zak mimed the action. “I’ll fight with you at the hotel tonight.”

“If we’re not done by tonight we’re pulling an emergency movie night, not-”

“We’re here.”

The castle was just like the movie, but twice as overwhelming. After all, it was a castle, a _real_ castle, and Zak was from America. It wasn’t like he got to see many genuine castles, and Cinderella Castle didn’t count.

They walked up to the gate. Willow took the speaking role. “Yeah hi, is Rapunzel home?”

The guard gave them a blank look. “Who?”

Willow’s brow furrowed. “Rapunzel. You know, the missing Princess that magically reappeared with scruffy brown hair and a lot of stories?”

The other guard snorted. “Never heard of her.”

“Listen,” the first guard snarled. “Don’t you go around telling stories about the princess returning. Their Majesties shouldn’t have to be reminded of their missing daughter all the livelong day.” He aimed his spear at them. “Now get out of here. And don’t make me tell you again!”

Willow sucked in a breath, puffing her cheeks up as her eyebrows dropped into an angry slant. Zak quickly took her arm. “Yes sir, right away.” He tugged her away from the guards before she could protest their statement. Willow yanked on her arm, whirling to face him, but instead of the enraged glare he'd been expecting, her eyes had taken on a kind of wild fear he'd never seen from her before.

Startled, he let go.

“Okay. Alright." Her breaths came more quickly, short like she was hyperventilating. "I don’t know how Hades did this, but he did, he must have.” Willow scanned the buildings agitatedly, and Zak found himself joining her, despite not knowing what he was looking for her sudden change in attitude making him uneasy. “He must've- he must've reset the fairytale using a crystal piece, or someone working for him did.”

“I almost forgot about that thing.” Zak shook his head. “How do we fix this?”

She seemed to be calming down, but neither of them relaxed. “Either we find the crystal, which is probably with Mother Gothel, if it's here, or I guess we find Rapunzel.” Willow shrugged, her eyes never ceasing their search. “Although we might find the crystal if we find Rapunzel. I dunno how it works.”

“You think Gothel took Flynn out of commission somehow?” Zak frowned. “Should we be worried?”

“I have no idea,” Willow admitted. “Although that’s all the more reason to find Gothel and fix this as quickly as we can.”

Tink chimed. They glanced at Peter again. “She thinks we should fly,” he translated. “It’ll be faster.”

“Are you sure? You won’t run out of Pixie Dust or anything?” Willow’s expression dipped into a concerned frown.

Tink chimed. “She’ll be fine.”

“Okay.” Zak tapped the staff on the pavement. “Let’s get out of the city.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's so short. and bad, probably. but here it is. enjoy please and thank you.


	11. The Lesbians find more superheroes and more things go wrong (because of course they do)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they meet another team, give up on being surprised by anything, and talk. a lot.
> 
> or
> 
> good writing? who's she?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ladies and gentlemen we've reached PEAK young adult fiction. you'll see what i mean. man, just when you thought it couldn't get any worse. and i'm having problems keeping my characters relevant to the solutions while also making sure that the characters i borrowed don't just stand around and look pretty. because let's face it that's mostly what they're doing.
> 
> also thank you to the lovely lovely person who reassured me that my tony stark wasn't as badly written as i thought he was.  
> (just wait it gets worse)

“You know who this guy is?” Hawkeye asked.

“Um- yeah,” Kari answered distractedly, her eyes fixed on the boy’s face. "He--" she realized she probably shouldn't tout the fact that they're all movie characters at the top of her lungs, just in case they didn't already know-- "he died," she finished lamely. "A while ago."

"And how do you know this?" Scarlet Witch asked skeptically.

"Merlin," Lottie supplied. "We had to learn about all kinds of people and their powers and abilities. During the training."

Not for the first time Kari found herself thanking her lucky stars that at least  _Lottie_ knew how to think on her feet. It wasn't technically a lie either.

“So what’s his skill?” Widow asked.

"He built a nurse robot to help people. College student, at San Fransokyo Tech. His little brother started Big Hero Six by accident in his quest to avenge him."

“So what I’m hearing is we need to go find his brother.”

“Yeah, I think so.”

Widow knocked Tadashi in the back of the skull with her knife, and his eyes rolled into the back of his head. “Let’s go.”

For such a big city, it was easy to find the team. After all, Violet said they'd backed off to make repairs and there was really only one place with that kind of equipment: San Fransokyo Tech, a pretty obvious building. Surprisingly, they debated over who should knock on the door. Kari hadn’t thought that would be a conflict, but eventually, it was decided the kids should go first (some adult guardians these guys were turning out to be). So, she stood on the steps of the tech building, wondering if she was supposed to sign in at the empty front desk.

“I guess let’s just go in.” Violet pulled on the door and it came open easily. They entered the building, glancing back at the adults, who seemed content to wait on the steps.

“I really don’t want to shout,” Kari groaned as they stopped in the darkened commons area, her voice echoing in the empty room as she stared up at the floor above them, surveying the tables pressed against the railing. “I always got mad secondhand embarrassment when people in movies did that.”

Lottie shrugged, glancing agitatedly around them. “Maybe we won’t have to-”

“ _Halt!_ ” A blast of fire came from the second level, and a dark figure dropped to the floor in front of them. “Who dares enter our fortress?!”

Violet threw up a force field around them as Kari squinted at the figure.

“Fred?”

“How do you know my name?” The figure advanced a few steps, then stopped. “I mean, uh, who’s Fred?”

Kari paused. “Yeah okay. Anyway, is Hiro here? We kinda need to talk to him; it’s really important. Like, change your whole world important.”

“Uh, no,” Fred sassed, “he’s not in right now. Can I take a message?”

“Yeah, tell him we found his brother alive,” Kari deadpanned.

Fred froze.

“Uh, wait right here.”

He bounded back up to the second floor and vanished. Violet cautiously dropped the force field as Kari turned and motioned for the adults to come inside. She still wasn’t sure why they hadn’t already.

When Fred returned, he’d brought the whole team, with the exception of Hiro and Baymax. Gogo scowled upon seeing the crowd in the lobby. “You didn’t tell us _those_ guys were here.”

“Well they weren’t,” Fred defended. “Just those four in the front.”

“What do you want?” Gogo snapped.

“Hades turned a couple dangerous characters evil,” Kari explained, “one of those being Tadashi Hamada. We were hoping that if he saw Hiro, Hades’ control would be weakened or completely eradicated.”

“Hiro’s not here,” Honey Lemon said. “When we tried to stop the quick one, Baymax flew off with him. He’s been missing for almost a day.”

“Guess we know why Baymax flew off now.” Wasabi glanced at Tadashi’s limp figure on the floor. “Tadashi must’ve hacked him.”

“So we don’t know where he is.” Lottie’s face fell.

Honey Lemon shook her head. “Nope.”

“Okay.” Kari pulled in a breath. “Then I guess we just have to find him. And if Tadashi hacked Baymax, he probably knows where they went.”

“So what, we’re just going to ask him?” Gogo snorted. “You said he’s being controlled, he’s not just going to tell us.”

“It’s the best we’ve got,” Kari pointed out. “Unless you have a better idea?”

The college student huffed and turned away. “Fine. But I’m not working with _them_.” She indicated the four Avengers.

“Why?”

“Let’s just say, last time they were here they didn’t really treat us with any semblance of respect,” Honey Lemon answered gently, “so we’re not exactly eager to work close to them.”

Kari didn’t really want Lottie to have to play mediator between groups of superheroes while they tried to fix things. She turned to the Avengers. “Maybe you could see if Stark and Mr. Incredible are done arguing, see if he knows anything that might help.”

“Yeah, sure.” Widow scowled at the team lined up on the second floor, but the Avengers left. Maybe they understood that it would be easier that way.

Fred dropped to the first floor and scooped up Tadashi’s limp form off the floor. “The lab’s up this way. Follow me.”

“Cool, we’re gonna see a bunch of superhero tech!” Dash shouted, taking off after him.

Kari was sure the lab would have been overwhelming had it not been empty. Everyone had been evacuated from the city, after all, so it felt like a ghost town. At least the lights were on.

“These are technically prototypes, but they should hold him if he’s still controlled when he wakes up,” Honey Lemon explained, holding up two hollow metal cylinders that were missing their ends. Pressing a button on a remote, they opened along a nearly invisible seam, and she clasped them around his wrists, closing them with the button. “Now watch this.” She pressed another button on the remote, and the cylinders slammed against the metal of her lab table with a harsh sound that made Kari cringe. “They’re Hiro’s tech, made to help the police contain criminals.” The woman shook her head with a wry smile. “I don’t think he really expected his brother to be in them someday.”

“I don’t see how he could,” Lottie said softly. “How do they work?”

“They’re magnetized, so they can attach to each other or to metal surfaces. They automatically calibrate to the magnetic polarity of the metal.” Honey set the remote on a counter a good distance away from Tadashi. “We had a couple completed versions, but they went missing.”

Lottie nodded. “You think we should be worried?”

“Probably not?”

“So while we’re waiting for him to wake up,” Gogo hopped onto the table and popped a gum bubble, “how about you introduce yourselves?”

“Oh right, um.” Lottie tucked her hair behind her ear, pulling it over her shoulder. “I’m Lottie.”

“I’m her girlfriend, Kari.”

“I’m Violet, um, Mr. Incredible’s daughter.” The girl pointed at her brother, where he was nerding out with Fred across the lab. “That’s Dash, he’s my brother.”

“Um, Kari and I were recruited by Merlin to help him handle everything that’s going wrong over here.” Lottie fiddled with her hands.

"Merlin like the guy from those crazy old legends?" Gogo asked.

"That's the guy," Kari said, pointing finger guns at her.

"Oh, so you've got magic?" Honey asked, her face brightening. "That's  _so_ cool. You  _have_ to let me help you test what it can do sometimes, I've got so many ideas!"

“So--" Wasabi returned with a notepad-- "any ideas for getting rid of Hades' control?”

“Cognitive recalibration, so hitting him really hard in the head,” Kari began, listing their ideas on her fingers, “getting something or someone they knew in life and jogging their memory, possibly giving them a reason to fight him off, or finding a way to lessen Hades’ power over the land.”

Wasabi paused. “Run that last one by me again?”

“We’re in Tomorrowland, right? Merlin’s got this crystal that protects the Magic Kingdom, but it shattered, which is why Hades has managed to do what he’s done. If we were to get the pieces of the crystal from whoever has them here, he wouldn’t have as much power here and thus less control,” Kari ran through the idea as it came to her.

Lottie snapped her fingers. “I’d forgotten about that, that could work!”

“But we don’t have any more ideas of where this crystal is than where Hiro is,” Gogo pointed out.

“At least it’s an idea.” Kari shrugged. “I dunno, I’m spitballing. We might as well keep it in mind, right? Who knows, maybe Baymax took Hiro back to their base, and if we find one we find both.”

Lottie giggled. “Wouldn’t that be something?”

 

His own brother was holding him captive with his own tech. If Hiro was to call that anything he’d call it _irony_ . Or maybe _aggravating_. He’d given up struggling hours ago, knowing the cuffs weren’t coming off the pole without the remote, and he hadn’t seen anyone since they’d cuffed him to the pole. He’d have slept if he wasn’t hanging by his wrists.

A sudden trail of silver bolted into the room, kicking up a cloud of dust. Whatever was kicking up the dust was gone in a blink, as the trail faded away. He slumped back against the pole, disappointed. He’d thought that maybe it was someone there to help, or at least someone there at all.

“So, you come here often?”

He jumped turning to the voice’s source. “Who the-”

The other boy gave him a tired smile, with swollen and bloody lips. “Wilbur Robinson, at your service.”

“Hiro Hamada.” He squinted. “Are you okay?”

“Lost a fist fight with a guy moving about as fast as light.” The boy shrugged. “I’ve been better.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah.” Wilbur laughed slightly. “That’s probably the best way to describe it.”

He tugged experimentally against the cuffs that pinned his hands in a similar way to Hiro’s. “Don’t bother,” Hiro told him. “They’re magnetic, really strongly magnetic; they’re not coming off unless those guys want them to.”

The other boy sighed, slumping against the pole. “Yeah, I figured, but it never hurts to try.” They stood in silence for a minute. “You know what’s wrong with those guys? Their eyes are like, completely black. It’s freaky.”

“No idea.” Hiro shrugged. “I just know one of them’s supposed to be dead.”

“Really, how do you know that?”

“He’s my brother.” He sighed. “Ran into a burning building that exploded right as he made it through the doors.”

Wilbur flinched. “Yikes, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, well, now he’s back and holding me captive so. . .”

“With blacked out eyes.” Wilbur hummed thoughtfully. “Well, when I talked to Merlin he mentioned Hades was trying to take over using some magic crystal.”

“Hades like the god of the dead?” He scrunched up his nose. "And Merlin like that mythical wizard."

“Yes on both counts. We couldn't really believe it either." Wilbur shrugged as best he could. "Anyway, I’m guessing Speedy was supposed to be dead too, but now he’s not.”

“Did Merlin say anything else? Like how to fix it?”

“An excellent question.” Wilbur shrugged. “He said there are some sorcerers on the case.”

“Helpful.” Hiro leaned into the post. “Well I hope they get here soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> note to literally everyone: don't give yourself a big cast if you want decent characters. just don't. you'll end up focusing on like, two, and then everyone else is gonna feel flat and if the readers like those characters they're gonna get mad and besides there's only so many characters who can participate in the solution and obviously you want your pov character to be solving because otherwise why are they your pov character
> 
> this reads like a bad video game. like stylistically it's supposed to read like a video game but this is like one of those games where the players are running around a repeating animation while shouting "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST SOLVE IT" like literally it's all plot convenience bullshit yikes yikes yikes


	12. The Reckless Ones fight a witch and rescue a princess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they figure out their magic, Rapunzel's a badass, and Willow has a Time
> 
> AKA since when did i love whump this much

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so tired
> 
> thanks fantASSyland for your sweet comment, i haven't responded because i want to keep it forever. maybe i'll print it out and hang it on my wall.
> 
> i rewrote this p close to 5/1/2019 (m/d/y) and wow. it's 2x the original length

“Having fun over there?” Willow asked after she wobbled in the air for the third time and slipped towards the ground.

“It’s like watching a baby bird falling out of its nest.” Peter couldn’t stop laughing.

“Wow, so I’m better than I thought,” Zak joked.

It had taken them a bit to get the hang of flight, but they were managing. It had been at least two minutes since they  last fell out of the air.

“There’s her tower!” Willow pointed, nearly falling again. At this point,  probably nobody bothered getting worried,  since she always pulled out of her dives before catastrophe.  She tried to keep her happy memory fixed in mind as they swooped down to the tower.

The window was already open so they flew inside. Willow fumbled the landing a little, groaning. “Well so much for my  _ fucking _ ankle,” she growled, bending down to massage the thing.

“That’s why you land like a parachutist.” Zak grinned.

“Wow Zak, that’s so helpful, I know exactly how a parachutist lands considering the fact that  _ I’ve never even been on a plane before _ ,” she hissed.

“Good thing you’re not afraid of heights then.” Zak leaned on the staff, staring around. “So, what now?”

“I dunno, I guess we look around.” She snorted. “Maybe we’ll find a potion, or like, a weapon upgrade.”

“Wouldn’t that be something.”

“I’ll take the upstairs,” Peter said, darting off before they could respond.

“I’ll take the right side,” Willow volunteered.

“Guess I’ve got left.”

She yanked open a drawer or two, trying to see if Gothel left any knives lying around ( _ quelle surprise _ , she hadn’t). Idly, she tilted the pot she recognized as the one Rapunzel had stowed the crown and the satchel in the movie. Nothing.

Zak pried up the bottom step. “Damn.”

“Oi, is that your side?” Willow teased.

“Well were you going to look there?”

“No, probably not.”

“Exactly.” He fit the step back into place. “Find anything interesting?”

“Nope.”

“Yeah me neither.”

A loud cry echoed from upstairs. They exchanged a look, and booked it.

When they got there they found Peter hovering far above the floor with Tinker Bell nestled in his hair. Rapunzel pressed up against the vanity, holding a brush like a sword with an expression of pure terror.

“Took you long enough,” Peter said.

“Who are you?!” Rapunzel demanded. “How’d you find me?”

It was obvious she wanted to be intimidating, but it didn’t really work. If only she had that frying pan, Willow’d be quaking the boots she wasn’t wearing. “We’re sorcerers,” she tried to explain calmly. “Merlin sent us, we’re here to help.”

“Help. . . with what? With the guy who was here a bit ago?”

“Um- yeah,” she said.

Rapunzel relaxed. “Well you’re a little slow. Mother already left with him.”

Her heart sank upon hearing that. So Rapunzel didn’t remember either. “What’d he look like?” Willow asked carefully. “Like, what was he doing?”

“I don’t know, tall I guess. Dark hair, striking nose. Looked kind of beat up, like he’d been sprinting through a forest?” She shrugged. “He came falling through the window all ‘ _ alone at last _ ’ into his satchel--” she mimicked his face comically-- “and then I hit him with my pan.”

“ ‘ _ Alone at last _ ’,” Zak echoed, pretending to be thinking. “What’d you say he was after?”

“My hair, obviously. Isn’t everyone?” She paused. “Present company excluded. For now.” She narrowed her eyes, aiming the hairbrush at them again to accent her point.

“But if he said it at his satchel. . .” Zak massaged his chin, eyebrows exaggeratedly furrowed in thought. Willow fought the urge to elbow him in the side.

His over exaggerated gestures did the trick though. Rapunzel’s eyes widened. “You’re saying he wasn’t after my hair at all?”

“He thought he was alone, and he looked like he’d been running. My guess is he was being chased, and tried to use your tower as a place to hide.”

“Oh no!” Rapunzel gasped. “Mother’s going to get an innocent man arrested, you have to stop her!”

“Of course, that’s our job.” Zak said, puffing out his chest.

“Do you know where they went?” Willow asked.

“No, I’m sorry.”

She fought off the sinking feeling in her gut (she did  _ not _ want to wander around a forest just to come across the guy lying dead with a stab in his stomach). “Thanks so much for your time,” she forced out.

“Of course!” Rapunzel said.

They went back to the main room so Tink could replenish the pixie dust (Willow noticed she was flying less, which didn’t bode well; they’d have to make a stop while they were in Adventureland). She lifted off the ground, relieved to take the weight off her ankle. She’d gotten great at ignoring pain, but that didn’t mean it felt better.

Rapunzel’s soft voice stopped them just before they flew out the window. “Wait, can I come too?”

Willow twisted in the air to look at her, standing at the foot of the stairs, frying pan in hand. “What?”

“I want to go with you,” she said. “It’s my fault he’s in trouble, and I can’t just sit here waiting.”

She exchanged a look with her companions and, finding no disagreement, shrugged. “Okay. Yeah, sure.”

Rapunzel beamed, sunny as her kingdom, even though she didn’t know it. “Thank you so much!” she gushed. Tink sprinkled some pixie dust on her too, and she lifted up off the floor (all 80 feet of her hair too). They soared out the window.

“So, where are we thinking?” Zak asked.

“Probably the castle,” Willow said. “That seems like the right place to take someone to get arrested.”

“I wish we’d be able to time it so we got there on lantern night.” Zak sighed. “It would’ve been so pretty.”

“Lantern night?” Peter asked.

“Yeah. It’s this big thing the kingdom started doing. The princess disappeared years ago, kidnapped, or so they say, so on her birthday every year they launch lanterns into the sky in hopes that one day she’d see them and come back.” Willow shrugged.

“Did it work?”

“Not yet, but they’re still trying.”

“Mother said they were stars,” Rapunzel said, almost to herself. “I can’t wait to tell her!”

She didn’t really know what to say to that.

The Pixie Dust ran out before they managed to find Mother Gothel, leaving them walking, except Peter who apparently flew from helium and happy thoughts alone, no dust required (come to think of it, she couldn’t remember ever seeing him get a refill on Pixie Dust in canon). Rapunzel’s hair magically avoided getting snagged on every third tree, and somehow didn’t collect eighty different kinds of bugs in it. Picking a snapped twig out of her curls, Willow envied her.

Zak slipped back to walk with her. “So what’s the plan?”

“Same plan,” she responded quietly. “Find Gothel, find the crystal, fix everything.”

“I’d like to remind you that we don’t know how to use our spells, don’t know how to use the crystal or even really what it looks like, and we don’t know how combat works over here.”

“Yeah.” Willow sighed. “I know. But you’ve got a stick and I’ve got the ‘rangs, we’ll be fine.”

“Please  _ god _ never say that again.”

She would have teased him again, but her bad foot twisted in a hole and sent her stumbling with a grimace. The lighthearted look slipped from Zak’s face. “Are you seriously okay?”

“Yeah fine, it’s no biggie,” she said, ignoring the angry pangs up her leg.

“I swear to god Willow, if you sprained that ankle and you’re still walking on it I’m  _ going _ to kill you.”

“Is everything okay?” Rapunzel asked, turning slightly from where she was talking animatedly with Peter.

“Yeah, fine,” Willow called before Zak could open his mouth. He glared at her, rubbing his side where she’d elbowed him, but dropped the subject.

“I did have a question,” Rapunzel continued, oblivious to Zak’s pain.

“Shoot,” Willow said, speeding up her pace to walk beside her.

“You said you were sorcerers. So, can you use magic? Like, rain fire from the heavens or- or make the stars dance on command.”

“God I only wish,” Willow laughed. “That would be sick. No, Merlin- he’s- still training us. So right now, we’ve just got these decks of cards with a spell on each one. Like, training wheels.” She was making it up on the spot, and it almost made sense. “Except we kind of hit emergency status before we really knew what we were doing, so he had to drop us in mostly unprepared.”

“So. . . what does that mean?” Rapunzel frowned.

“It means we don’t actually know how to use the cards,” Zak responded easily, coming up beside them. “At least, not here. There’s several. . . we’ll say ‘domains’ for simplicity’s sake that Merlin presides over and our magic works differently in each one. So we don’t know how it works here.”

“What have you tried?”

Willow frowned, confused. “Tried?”

“Yeah, you know, gone through the options. Like, maybe throw the card, hold it out, hit somebody with it.” Rapunzel shrugged.

Willow made eye contact with Zak. “We could’ve been doing that the  _ whole time _ .”

“Jesus God, smite me where I stand,” Zak said in agreement, both hands covering his face.

“Isn’t that blasphemy, church boy? Your dad would be so mad.”

“He’s a scientist, he’d be mad either way,  _ why didn’t we think of that?! _ ” he groaned into his hands.

Rapunzel laughed.

They managed to figure out how the cards worked pretty quickly. It was Rapunzel who even figured it out in the end, which  _ quelle surprise _ , because apparently they were just the world’s biggest doofuses.

“I mean, I’m glad to know,” Willow said. “But also I just feel like a giant dork reading a rhyming two line poem every time I want to cast something.”

“You think we have MP?” Zak asked, squinting at a Monsters Inc. themed card.

Willow was about to make a snarky remark, and probably Rapunzel was about to ask what that was, but Peter abruptly dropped to the ground, a knife suddenly in his hand as he peered around warily. “Something’s there.”

Zak made a skeptical face, but Willow heard the leaves rustle. Within seconds she had the boomerangs at the ready, forgetting the cards entirely. Rapunzel hoisted her frying pan, putting on a brave face even though she looked terrified.

“What is it?” she whispered. “Ruffians? Thugs?”

“Not sure.” Willow squinted through the brush.  _ Could be your mother, who knows _ .

A white blur dove through a bush, landing in front of them with a loud sound between a whinny and a battle cry. Willow fought back a cry of her own, reeling backwards on pure instinct.

“Maximus!” Zak cried joyfully.

She stopped herself mid-throw. “Maximus?”

“Um- it said on his medallion,” Zak corrected hastily. The white horse tilted his head, confused.

“Oh, you’re looking for the same guy we are, aren’t you?” Willow asked.

Zak nodded agreement. “What’s his name, Flynn Rider?”

Maximus snarled upon hearing the name, but it was more directed towards the concept of Flynn Rider than at Zak for saying the name.

“So he’s friendly?” Peter asked.

“Probably.” Willow shrugged. “We’ve got the same goal, really, so I think we could really stand to benefit from working together.”

Maximus snorted, but didn’t immediately turn and head off, so she took that for agreement. Peter relaxed, stowing the knife away again (she hadn’t even noticed he had that before, but now it was a little difficult to forget). Rapunzel lowered her frying pan.

“How’d you know his name?” she asked, turning to Zak.

“The medallion?” Zak repeated questioningly.

“No no, not Maximus. The guy- Flynn Rider. How’d you know?”

Zak scratched the back of his neck. “Well uh,” he said eloquently.

Willow sighed. “Okay well the thing is, we’re here because we got reports of unauthorized time travel. Flynn Rider isn’t supposed to be arrested at this point in his timeline and it could be devastating for other areas of the kingdom.” Technically true.

“Oh no,” she mumbled. “Then we have to move fast.” She pushed past them to Maximus, putting on the baby-talk voice Willow recognized from the movie.

But she missed most of what she said because Zak moved in to whisper in her ear, “So we think this is time travel?”

“Could be time travel, could be memory alteration, I don’t know why you think I know.”

Maximus whinnied, loud and proud, and put his nose back to the ground like the tracker horse he was. Rapunzel skipped after him, with a jovial shout of, “Keep up!”

The three exchanged looks and prepared for confrontation.

Maximus made short work of finding Flynn Rider after that. Without the hijinks of the bar and the dam, there wasn’t anything to throw him off the trail. The didn’t manage to catch up with Gothel before entering the kingdom though, which was worrying if Willow knew her stuff. They’d manage, though. They didn’t really  _ need _ to rescue Flynn, just take Gothel’s crystal piece. Everything should revert back after that.

Maximus snorted, attentive eyes searching the square. Willow just let him do his thing, looking around on a hunt of her own. She knew she should probably be drinking in everything around her like Zak was (no doubt building a detailed description in his head for use when putting his princess-loving siblings to bed), but she couldn’t help but search for out of place shadows, or the flickering blue flames of a Greek god in an alley, or the velvet flash of Gothel’s cloak. She wouldn’t be caught off guard, she  _ couldn’t _ , not when--

“What’s that?”

Ah. She’d forgotten about the mural.

“It’s something the king and queen had made a long time ago, after their daughter disappeared,” Willow explained. “People leave flowers and things for her, like gifts.”

“That’s so sweet.” Rapunzel gazed up at the face in the mural,  _ her _ face even if she didn’t know it.

“Yeah.”

“Hey, um, so this is kind of awkward, but we never actually introduced ourselves.”

“Right,” Willow said, the realization hitting like a shock of electricity. “I’m Willow. Flyboy is Peter, stickling is Zak. The fairy is Tinker Bell.”

Rapunzel giggled at the descriptors. “Rapunzel,” she introduced, holding out a hand. They shook.

“Hey, Maximus found them!” Zak shouted.

Go time.

Them was an overstatement, it was just Gothel that they found, but Gothel was all they needed.

“Mother, that man, he’s innocent,” Rapunzel cried, pounding ahead surprisingly quickly for someone wearing no shoes and who had lived in a tower her whole life. “You have to--”

“What are you doing here, flower? It’s not safe!” Gothel stopped the girl’s momentum with hands on her shoulders.

“I had to stop you, you’re making a mistake,” Rapunzel said urgently. “That man, Flynn Rider, he was never after me, he thought the tower was abandoned, he’s innocent!”

“Innocent? Please, that man’s a wanted criminal and a thief. No doubt he broke in for another heist. He’d have robbed us blind and stolen you away.” Gothel shuddered and pulled her close. Willow’s hands tightened on the boomerangs, knuckles whitening. “I knew you weren’t ready to leave yet. What made you think he was innocent?”

Rapunzel seemed more hesitant when she pulled away, losing that confidence she’d displayed in the woods. “My friends,” she said haltingly, gesturing towards the group.

“Well if they lied to you, how good of friends could they be? Obviously they’re in cahoots with that man and they were just stringing you along.” Gothel scoffed. “They must have wanted to use your--”

“ _ No _ .”

Gothel stopped talking. She turned, dramatically slowly. “No?” she asked calmly.

Willow shook, nails digging into her palms. “If there’s one thing I hate,” she said, voice cracking even as she fought to keep it level, “it’s people like you.”

“What? People who protect the things they love?” Gothel pulled Rapunzel closer to accentuate her point.

“No,” she spat. “People who use others. People who twist things around. People who make everyone else look like the bad guy to make themselves more desirable because they’re so  _ desperate _ and  _ hypocritical _ that they can’t stand on their own. You meant Rapunzel and you said  _ thing _ . You belittle her constantly, you imply that she’s stupid, and you do  _ nothing _ to help her. You want her helpless and dependent on you and  _ that’s _ what I hate the most because she’s just  _ trapped _ in that damn tower and she doesn’t even realize what you’re doing is wrong.”

Rapunzel’s eyes widened and she pulled away from Gothel a little. Gothel scoffed, not letting go. “And how would you know, sorcerer? You’ve been all secluded in your own little world, why do you pretend?”

“Yes, because my life’s all sunshine and rainbows.” Willow laughed. She was drawing a crowd and she wasn’t sure she cared. “But you know what? I know enough to recognize what’s happening. You know what that’s called?  _ Emotional abuse _ .”

“Eighteen years in the tower,” Rapunzel said softly. “And you told me the outside world would use me for my hair. And yet nobody ever came looking.”

“Because we were so well hidden!” Gothel said, trying to save the situation.

“And the only person who ever used my hair was  _ you _ .” She tugged away, stumbling back into the empty middle space between them. Willow could all but see the gears turning in Rapunzel’s head, knowing she was scanning over her memories.

“Rapunzel,” Gothel said, soft and dangerous. “Get away from them.”

She shook her head, defiant. “No.”

“Gothel,” Willow called mockingly in a similar tone. “Where’s the crystal?”

Gothel scowled. “You won’t get your dirty hands on it, sorcerer.”

There was a flash of blinding light and a rush of wind. Maximus’s startled whinny cut off abruptly as her ears popped. Everything settled just as fast.

Willow blinked the sunspots from her eyes, quickly refocusing to take stock, staring wildly around while trying to keep her breathing under control. Zak was still there, as was Peter, and although both seemed more affected by the flash bang than she was they looked okay. And they were in the tower, the main room.  _ Rapunzel _ , where the  _ fuck _ was she?! Willow finally lighted on her, knocked to the ground across the way, and breathed a sigh of relief because  _ okay she’s fine _ .

Gothel’s voice echoed across the room from no discernable source. “I  _ was _ just going to let the guards kill him. It would keep my hands clean. But, you’ve forced my hand.” She materialized at the top of the stairs, the long knife in her hand, held above Flynn Rider’s unmoving form, slumped over the railing.

Willow didn’t waste time with words, flinging a boomerang. Gothel just vanished, laughing. She scowled, catching it on the return and springing into motion, sprinting for the stairs. “Zak, with me!”

She didn’t get a response, and skidded to a halt, glancing back at her partner. “Zak?”

Her heart dropped.

“What the  _ fuck _ did you do.”

“It wasn’t me,” Gothel said in a sing-song tone as Zak stumbled around blindly, eyes white, his lips soundlessly forming words. “You didn’t protect him.”

“I didn’t protect him?” Willow asked incredulously, throwing herself over the side of the stairs to get to him, ignoring the sharp jolt of pain in her ankle, but it didn’t seem to matter how much she ran because she just couldn’t close the gap. She stopped, knowing it was pointless. “You can’t twist this onto me.”

“I don’t have to twist anything. You were so focused on me, on the crystal, that you just ignored your friends entirely.”

“I didn’t!” she insisted.

“Some friend you turned out to be,” Gothel continued, her voice echoing off the walls. “They’re in trouble and what are you doing to help them? Nothing.”

“Because it’s pointless,” she said, but she knew it wasn’t as confident as she wanted.

“Pointless?” Gothel’s voice echoed right next to her ear, and she swung, spinning around, but the woman was already gone. “You really hate them that much? That saving them is  _ pointless _ ?”

“You know that’s not what I meant!” Her chest burned. They needed to open a goddamn window, she couldn’t  _ breathe _ , but it was like the tower dimmed with only a spotlight on her friends and she couldn’t find the way.

“Do I?” Gothel asked, and somewhere in there her voice changed and she was two voices in one. “Do they?”

“Of course they do,” she said, trying to pretend her mind wasn’t conjuring up images of her friends turning away, Lottie crying, Kari scowling, Zak disgusted.

“And how can you be so sure?” the male voice sounded, and some sane part of her registered it as Pitch’s iconic British drawl.

“Because they know me,” she insisted. “They know I--”

“Then why are you so afraid they don’t?”

She fumbled through her deck, cards slipping through her trembling fingers. With a curse she dropped to the floor, feeling around for them.

“You’re terrified they’ll leave,” he continued. “You’re terrified of not pulling your weight. You’re scared they’ll hate you just like she did.”

“Shut up,” she mumbled, shining her phone light onto the cards.

“Well you have reason to be afraid. When was the last time you actually told them you appreciate them?” he asked, and she didn’t respond, her full attention on keeping her cards steady enough she could read them. “You can’t remember, can you? You’ve never told them. So how  _ would _ they know?”

She got to her feet shakily. “They know me,” she forced out again, even though the words rang hollow in her chest. “Shut up or fuck off, Pitcher, I’ve got to kick a witch’s teeth in.”

“Sure,” Pitch said smoothly. “But a word of advice, Willow. You’ll find your. . . shall we say,  _ affinity _ for fighting won’t help you everywhere.” His voice split again, the two tones overlapping. “You’ll run them off. You’ll lash out and they’ll be gone.” Gothel reappeared at the top of the stairs, smirking, her voice the only one left. “And that you can’t blame on me.”

“ _ And if behind the door you hide, beware what’s on the other side _ ,” she intoned quietly. A yellow door slammed open from behind the curtain at the top of the stairs, a door that definitely hadn’t been there seconds before, crushing Gothel behind it. Mike Wazowski poked his head out, looked both ways, and slammed it closed again, revealing Gothel looking a little worse for wear and pissed. Willow snickered. “Whoops.”

“Try it again and see what happens,” Gothel threatened.

“I think I will.” She held up her second card. “ _ Cars, gutters, and vacuum tubes, I’ll crush you into little cubes. _ ”

Gothel threw her knife, face contorting in rage. Willow ducked out of the way, ignoring the sting as it scraped her arm. Wall-E rumbled out from the shadows towards her, but she directed him towards her friends, thanking her lucky stars when the reality stretching didn’t affect him.

“Merlin’s magic has no real power here,” Gothel sneered. “You can’t hope to defeat me with it.”

“Okay.” Willow didn’t really want to spend too much energy on that. She had other problems. At least she had an ally in Wall-E.

Gothel leapt into the air and split into millions of copies of herself as she landed on the floor. Willow experimentally flicked a boomerang. It phased through the clones, but they didn’t disappear.

“Aw come on, that’s not fair,” she complained lightly, trying to trick her brain back to confidence, trying not to panic.

“Don’t worry,” the Gothels cooed as one, “it’s not supposed to be.”

She winced. “Yikes, right in the Uncanny Valley.”

Wall-E stacked the last trash cube, the wall turning into a transparent dome surrounding her friends. She pulled in a breath, relieved. They’d be mostly safe, at least. As he rolled away a bit of trash caught in his tread, shooting out behind him and hitting one of the Gothel clones. A bolt hit her like lightning.  _ The spells could detect Gothel. _

“ _ Stomp the-- _ ” she shouted but the clones threw their knives, sending her diving to avoid them. Thank god most of the knives just went through her, as unreal as their owners, but the shock of seeing the knives go through her stomach sent her spiralling, air coming in short gasps. Her deck slipped out of her hands and she scrambled to keep ahold of the cards. “ _ Stomp the-- _ ” she ducked to avoid a second wave, clinging to the card for dear life. She was backed against the wall against a tower of enemies like something out of Fantasia, swirling like an optical illusion, and she was  _ alone _ all fucking alone because she’d failed her friends and she’d failed Rapunzel and Merlin and--

A segment of the Gothel clones vanished. The tower collapsed with an enraged cry, “ _ What?! _ ”

Rapunzel stood, a coil of her hair in her hand, shaken and uncertain and ready for battle. She met Willow’s eyes. “I’ve got your back.”

Willow nodded, trying to keep it together even though she was fighting off tears of relief. They stood together to face the onslaught of the clones.

“ _ Stomp the castle-- _ ” illusions of knives tore through her chest, clones vanishing under coils of Rapunzel’s hair and reappearing just as fast-- “ _ Crush the town-- _ ” Gothel was shouting something but the voices were overlapping and Willow hoped she didn’t have to hear the words in order for the spell to work-- “ _ What’s built up will soon come down! _ ”

A huge heel crashed through the ceiling of the tower, crushing Gothel under it, her screech abruptly cutting off. Willow dove forward as the clones dropped away one by one and the foot receded through the untouched ceiling, wrestling the crystal piece from Gothel’s grasp.

“No more,” she panted, cradling the piece against her chest, and it began to glow, the light throbbing with her rapid heartbeat.

“What have you done?” Gothel cried, voice rasping as she rapidly aged, the crystal undoing the damage to the story.

“ _ No more _ !” she shouted, because no other words were coming to her mind.

Rapunzel inhaled sharply, reaching out as Gothel moaned loudly and stumbled backwards, mirroring the movie ending near perfectly. Willow glanced back for confirmation, because at the end of the day this was  _ Rapunzel’s  _ story and she wanted it to be her decision.

Ashy faced, Rapunzel nodded. “No more,” she said.

The glow enveloped her vision.

When the light cleared the tower had been put to rights again, the windows open and sunlight streaming through. Her friends blinked and looked around, bewildered, and she had to turn around as the tears she’d been fighting finally crashed through, angrily swiping her sleeve over her face as she tried to compose herself.

Rapunzel gasped. “ _ Eugene! _ ” She hurtled up the stairs to where the man was collapsed. Willow closed her eyes, counted to three, and turned around, hiding behind her map as she looked for the portal.

“What happened?” Zak asked, jogging over. “Did you--”

“We won,” she said shortly. “Gothel’s gone. Everything’s fixed.”

Zak frowned. “Are you okay?”

“ _ Fine _ .” She counted her breathing, trying not to fall apart. “Just a little shaken up.”

“You’re bleeding,” Peter pointed out.

She’d forgotten that was there. “It’s not that bad.” She moved her hand to cover it.

Zak scowled. “Not that bad my  _ ass _ .”

She shrugged him off. “It’s  _ fine _ . The portal’s fixed, we can go find Hiccup now.”

“You can’t keep doing this, Willow, first the ankle and now your arm? You’re gonna end up dead, and I--” Zak cut himself off, settling for a scowl as though that would convey his rant (she hated to admit but it did).

“You’re injured?” Rapunzel asked. In a split second she was down the stairs again, a coil of blonde hair in her hand.

“Hang on,” Willow said, eyes wide. “I thought we fixed everything, why is your hair still magic?”

“Oh, we don’t know,” Rapunzel said lightly. “It came back a little while ago, just before all this happened. Now show me the scratch.”

“It’s not that--” she stared around and found suddenly that she was outvoted. Sighing, she moved her hand. Rapunzel pressed a coil of her hair against the cut.

“Get her ankle too,” Zak suggested, pointing.

Willow heaved a fake tortured sigh as Rapunzel kicked some of the hair on the floor and held it up against her bad ankle with one foot.

And then she started singing and everything fell away.

Of everything she’d seen turn out a hundred times better than in the movie, this took the cake and ate it too. The movie hadn’t shown the complete peace that came with the physical healing, or maybe she was just  _ so, incredibly  _ screwed up that it happened for her. She relaxed, her fears abated, her breathing evened, the tears shrank back. She wasn’t checking corners and expressions and alcoves and exits. She just felt safe.

And then the song died away and the feeling was gone, although at the very least she wasn’t on the verge of tears anymore. Willow suddenly understood why Gothel had wanted the flower’s magic so bad. Maybe it was like the Mirror of Erised for the screwed up in the head, gave you the healing you craved but it never lasted.

But Willow wasn’t absolutely nuts so she pinched her arm and blocked out the memory, already refocusing.

“Thanks,” she said softly. Rapunzel just smiled and unwound her hair.

“So,” she said, “where to next? Off to save some other Princess?”

Willow snorted. “If you count a bunch of century old magic guys and one girl ‘princesses’ then sure thing.”

“We’re off to find Berk!” Zak answered cheerily. “Because the shadow men kidnapped the Easter Bunny and we have to save Christmas.”

Willow rolled her eyes into the back of her head. “What he  _ means _ is the Guardians were abducted by their nemesis and we’re trying to get Hiccup and Toothless to help us rescue them.”

“Oh, I know Hiccup!” Rapunzel lit up.

That took them by surprise. “You do?”

“Yeah, he came on a diplomatic trip to Corona a little while ago--before my hair came back if that gives you a time frame. You know, introducing himself to the new neighbors.” The girl beamed. “I can help you!”

“Hold on, don’t you have a kingdom to run?” Eugene asked, finally making it over to them.

“Well, technically I’m going on a diplomatic mission. . .” she trailed off. “Oh come on, Eugene, they saved both of us,  _ and _ the kingdom! The least I can do is help them where I can! And besides-- I can’t--” she shook her head. “I can’t go back yet, it’s just so stifling and I just--”

Eugene softened. “Okay,” he said finally. “I get it. You just escaped the tower a second time and with the restrictions, you feel like the kingdom is just one big tower, right?” She nodded. “Okay. I’ll go back and let your parents know. But they’re not going to be happy when you get back.”

Rapunzel lit up, throwing her arms around him and about knocking him over with a flurry of thank yous. Feeling like it was a private moment, Willow turned back to the map, flipping it over to locate the portal they’d need for Berk. She looked back up when Rapunzel said, “Okay, ready.”

“Cool,” Zak said, already opening the portal by the window. “Willow, know where we’re going?”

“You got it.”

Zak saluted. “Allons-y.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "zak you fucking nerd"
> 
> i slipped whoops there's more characters! more angst! more willow whump! hopefully you've had enough time to get attached to the point where it actually means something to you!! god i really hope so!! sorry fantASSyland!! for some reason i'm in a very whumpy mindset blame exams thanks byeeee


	13. The Lesbians actually get to go on a Disney World ride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there's a demon man, some very unsubtle foreshadowing, unfunny jokes, and entirely too much dialogue.
> 
> or
> 
> I thought this idea was just GREAT at the time and didn't take the time to properly execute it and i edited it but y'know i still dunno how good it is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 13 days since the last update. you might think that i have self control but in all actuality i just forgot about the passage of time.
> 
> also i'm running out of chapters so that probably helped.

Tadashi woke up and startled Lottie into falling off the table with a squeak.

“That didn’t take as long as I thought it would,” Violet noted, scooting backwards as he strained against the cuffs.

“Yikes, that’s creepy.” Gogo wrinkled her nose at the boy’s eyes, all color having been replaced with a solid shade of black. It looked like he didn’t even have eyes, just empty sockets.

“Creepy is an understatement.” Wasabi peeked out from behind the table he’d upended to hide behind. “That’s just not natural!”

“One might even go so far as to say demonic,” Kari said lightly, even though she would rather be anywhere else.

“I guess we can confidently say he’s still possessed,” Honey Lemon’s voice shook.

Gogo popped a gum bubble, before leaning forward and tapping her knuckles on the boy’s head. He flinched away, but his expression never changed. “Where’s Hiro?”

No response.

“What about the crystal piece, you seen a crystal piece?”

No response.

Gogo stood up and shrugged. “Well, we tried. I think he’s too far gone. So, what’s plan B again?”

“Just find it ourselves, I guess?” Kari sighed, checking her phone. “I don’t know, and we have to leave for the hotel soon.”

Honey sighed. “Okay. Well, you guys should leave now, then, and we’ll see what we can do while you’re gone.”

“Sure.” The girls stood up. “See you tomorrow, I guess. Good luck.”

The team responded without much enthusiasm.

“I’ll walk you out,” Violet volunteered, getting to her feet.

“Thanks.”

They found an ornate lock on the front steps. Kari frowned. “I didn’t think the portals moved around.”

“This one was on a moving trash can, it probably moves with him,” Lottie reminded her.

“Oh.” Kari shrugged. “Convenient.”

“Or inconvenient, depending on where he moves to.”

They held their keys up to the lock, and the portal appeared. “Thanks for helping us today,” Lottie told the other girl on the steps.

“Yeah. Thanks for everything you did for us today, too,” Violet said shyly, pulling her sweater around her, blocking the logo on her super suit.

“Guess we’ll see you-”

“ _Stitch, no!_ ”

The young voice cut them off, and before any of them could react, a quick moving figure dove through the portal, an unmistakable cackle echoing in his wake. A little girl who could only be Lilo ran up the steps after him, breathing hard.

“What just happened?” Kari looked to her girlfriend, bewildered.

“Stitch found this little glowing rock and picked it up and went crazy!” Lilo shouted. “We gotta go get him!”

“Kari, the havoc he could cause in our world like that? We can’t waste time.”

“I know. Violet you want to help out?” Kari asked.

“Yeah, if you want me to.”

“Perfect, let’s go.” Kari lead the charge, and they plunged through the portal.

“There he goes!” Lilo cried, pointing.

“The Tomorrowland Speedway, huh,” Kari huffed, taking off after him. “Figures.”

She and Lottie managed to get a car right behind him, as the line was nonexistent. The second they were strapped in and given the go ahead, she tore off at full speed. Lottie winced as Kari hit the corner the wrong way.

“I thought you were voted best driver in the friend group?”

“Well these are hardly real cars.” Kari gritted her teeth as the bottom of the car jolted around the rail that kept it on the track, “and this is hardly a real track, and if I just barely go off course we get jolted right back. If you want to drive next time, be my guest.”

They pulled up behind the alien, who seemed confused that his car wasn’t going where he directed it. He kept slamming into the rail as he tried to go off the track.

“He thinks it’s a real car.” Lottie realized.

“Works for me.” Kari rammed his bumper. Stitch spun, as though just noticing they were there, hissing as two of his four arms clutched a glowing crystal. He stopped trying to go off road and took off again

“Is that part of Merlin’s crystal?” Lottie asked in wonder.

“I think so.” Kari’s lip curled in frustration. Even the car’s top speed wasn’t fast enough. She crashed into his bumper again. He spat acid at them, which luckily flew over their heads. “This is not a good place to be fighting a machine of pure destruction.”

“No,” Lottie agreed, hunched down in her seat. Kari dropped to a safe distance from him, following close behind.

“But we can probably fix Tadashi with his crystal.” Kari took a corner a little too fast, cringing at the awful scraping noise the rail made. “And find Hiro, and if they have another crystal we can find that too.”

“This is all assuming we get it.”

“Wel if we don’t he’ll destroy most of the continental united states, beginning with the Magic Kingdom. We _have_ to get it.”

“You’re right.”

They climbed out of the car and sprinted after the little alien. Violet and Lilo had apparently elected to wait out front, and were already in pursuit when they got back around to the front.

“Oh no, he’s going to see his ride,” Lottie groaned. And indeed, he was already crawling on his glowing likeness, breaking the neon lights with a shower of sparks.

“Stitch get down from there!” Lilo demanded as the girls ran up. He stuck his tongue out and vanished into the ride. Hurriedly, they followed, ignoring the interactive line animation as they sprinted after him.

They got in the line and entered the room, ignoring the robot who gave the ‘briefing’, trying to find the alien. Red lights began flashing, and Pleakley’s high voice came over the intercom, anxiously prompting them to move to the next room.

“There he goes!” Lilo pointed to Stitch as he crawled through the top of the doorway into the room.

Kari cursed. “Okay, let’s follow.”

They followed the ride instructions and let the harnesses drop. The lights went down, and a countdown began. A familiar form appeared in the teleportation tube in the center, and Stitch’s laugh echoed across the chamber. The tube lifted as a pair of cannons locked on target; a large, animatronic Stitch. In the dim light, Kari’s eyes caught the glow from the crystal and could see the real Stitch looking at the animatronic version, head turned to one side in curiosity. As the animatronic wandered around his tube, Stitch climbed across the ceiling.

Water shot from the animatronic’s mouth, and a few kids screamed as the cannons turned and made shooting noises. “No!” Lilo shouted.

“Don’t worry, they’re fake canons.” Kari kept her eyes trained on the real Stitch as he stopped above the animatronic. The lights flashed, and he dropped as they died entirely.

“What’s that on Stitch?” a little girl’s voice asked from across the room as the lights illuminated the animatronic in bursts, revealing the silhouette of the real Stitch climbing around on the animatronic’s back.

“I don’t know sweetie.”

The lights died, and the animatronic was gone. Kari anxiously craned her neck, trying to find where the other Stitch had gone as the interactive portion of the story began, with the harnesses bouncing on their shoulders like he had landed there.

“Stitch?” Lilo asked cautiously. The glowing crystal dropped down in front of them, just out of reach. Kari held in a curse.

 

Kari felt movement to her right and the glowing crystal hopped abruptly away, the glow fading behind a hazy layer of smoke. She reached over to where she knew Lilo had been sitting.

The harness was empty.

Sucking in a breath Kari shrugged off her own harness (she’d almost been scared it would be like the ones on the roller coasters, designed not to let you go, but it came up quite easily). She didn’t dare make noise, for fear of alerting the other guests or security or something. The power was out, so the chamber was in near full darkness.

Except for the crystal.

It came into view on the ceiling. Kari held her breath, cursing how damn prepared Jumba made him because not only was he combat ready but if she recalled, he also had night vision. And she definitely didn’t.

Something touched her arm and she fought not to yelp, jumping away.

“Kari?” Violet asked softly, near her ear.

“Yeah, hi,” she said eloquently.

“You see him?”

“Yeah.”

“Use your magic,” she suggested.

“I can’t, it doesn’t work on this side of the portal.” Kari scowled, wishing it wasn’t her only tool here.

“Stitch can hear you!” a voice sang loudly, and it definitely didn’t sound like the canned tone of the ride.

“Yeah I figured,” she responded (of  _ course _ he’d have super hearing too, just  _ great _ ). “It’s for the guests more than you.”

The lights flickered like a crack of electricity, and the voiceover started talking about emergency power. Kari sucked in a breath. “Do you remember where we were sitting?”

Violet went still. “No.”

Red lights came up slowly. Partly out of desperation, Kari jumped into the first empty seat she saw. There were a lot of them. Must not be a very popular ride, especially this late.

The cannons began moving and shooting. Kari could see their Stitch crawling around on the top of one of them as it writhed around like a snake, cackling along to the prerecorded track. It powered down with a distinct noise. She still couldn’t find Lilo.

The lights went down again, and she shrugged the harness off with little hesitation.

The crystal was across the room, so she made her way around the teleporter in the middle and booked it, hidden by the smoke. The lights came back up without warning, the Stitch animatronic rising back up in the center of the room as the ‘teleporter’ activated.

“There she is!” Violet pointed to the cannons. Lilo was clinging to the side of one, looking around for the real Stitch. She must have found him, because she leapt off the cannon. Violet gasped and thrust her hands out, and--

Nothing happened.

Kari glanced back at her, confused. Violet gave her hands a bewildered look and tried again, and this time a pair of force fields shot out, breaking Lilo’s fall in the nick of time.

“What the heck was that?” Kari asked, forgetting to keep her voice down.

“Nevermind that, where’d he go?”

Lottie appeared at their side, pointing. “There!”

Violet shut her eyes like a silent prayer and shot another force field towards where Stitch was going for the door. It slingshotted across the room, shooting sparks like those spinning top fireworks, and stopped in front of the door. Stitch wasn’t able to stop in time, smacking into it. Kari dashed across the room, grabbing him under the first set of arms and hoisting him into the air (for an alien too dense to float in water, he was lighter than she expected). “Lottie, get the crystal!”

Her girlfriend wrestled the crystal piece from his arms. The second it ceased to make contact with him, he froze. The green tint receded from his eyes, and he smacked his lips a little. Lilo took a few cautious steps closer. “Stitch?”

Kari set the alien on the ground, where he surveyed the room. “You good now?” she asked him. He nodded, still looking around.

“Nice save.” Lottie smiled at Violet, who straightened up proudly.

A woman came up, holding a little girl's hand. "That was amazing," she gushed. "How'd you make it look so real?"

Kari winked. "Sorry, can't ruin the magic."

The mother laughed. "Oh right, of course." She bent down to her daughter. "Say bye-bye to Stitch, honey." The little girl just clung to her leg, shyly peering around it at Stitch who was looking at her curiously. The mother laughed again, thanked the girls and left the ride.

"Okay, we gotta go before we get security on our you-know-whats," Kari whispered. They quickly made for the exit.

 

"There you are!" Push's squeaky voice greeted them just outside. "I thought you weren't going to make it."

"Yeah, so did we. Well, I did." Kari pulled out her key card. "Are you going to be ornery or can they go through before you need to go inside?"

"I'd love to be ornery, but unfortunately my sense of duty overrides that." He opened his flap. They held their keys up to the lock and the portal appeared.

"Thanks for helping Stitch and me," Lilo said.

Kari saluted. "Anytime."

The girl and alien climbed through the portal, vanishing into Tomorrowland.

"Okay, I know we're on a time crunch, but we  _have_ to talk about this," Violet said. They moved their keys away.

"Talk about what?" Kari asked warily.

"All of this." Violet waved her hand around. "I thought-- when you said you were training with Merlin, I thought you'd live in like, a tree or some old castle or something. Then you said you were going back to the hotel, and I thought-- I don't even know what I thought. And then, come to find out the portal leads to a theme park with an attraction themed around that Stitch guy-- I'm confused."

Lottie sighed. "Well I don't know if you're ready for a complete existential crisis?" She met Violet's eyes. She nodded. "We're actually not from your world. The portals don't take us around your world, they take us between yours and ours. Think, Multiverse Theory. Except the kicker is, every portal to your world is anchored in a theme park whose parent company has made movies or owns movies about every person in your world. And you don't actually exist here."

"So you know all these things about people because. . ." Violet said slowly, trailing off.

"Because we saw the movie, yes." Kari nodded. "Rest assured it was  _before_ we knew about all this. Truth be told, we found out this morning."

"So you didn't actually train under Merlin?"

"Unless you could two five minute tutorials, in the same day, then no. We didn't."

Lottie ran a hand through her hair. "I know we've been doing a bang-up job of it so far, but I promise we're doing our best. It's just been a crazy day."

"Bang-up job?" Violet looked at her like she was crazy. "You stopped the fast guy and that alien. I don't think you're doing that bad at all."

Lottie blushed. "Thanks."

The intercom sounded. "Attention, the Magic Kingdom is now closing. Please make your way to the exits."

Violet pointed at them. "We're not done talking about this."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Kari agreed, holding her key up to the lock. Violet climbed back through the portal. "Don't-- don't tell anyone about it though, okay? I'm not sure that's something we're prepared to deal with at this juncture." She made a face. "Yikes that was formal. No more essays for me."

Violet laughed. "I won't."

The portal closed, and they pocketed their keys again. Lottie patted Push on the head. "Thanks for the help. See you tomorrow, yeah?"

"You better believe it," he chirped.

They made their way to the exits. "Text Willow, would you?" Kari asked. "Make sure they don't forget."

Lottie snorted. "They would." She reached into her pocket, and groaned.

"What?"

"The crystal." She pulled it out. "We could've given it to Violet to take back."

Kari checked her watch. "Well no time now I guess."

"Yeah." Lottie slid it back in her pocket, pulling her phone out. "It'll probably be fine though."

"With how things have been going so far?" Kari laughed, gently pushing her shoulder. "We're gonna come back to the town on fire."

"Knock on  _wood_ Kari what's wrong with you?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've got chapter 19 done... and then that's it. updates will probably cease for an estimated time of forever. yea, i'm not so good about writing this story. i mean, remember when i said i ditched this for a full year once and then cranked out fifteen chapters in one sitting? yeah.
> 
> anyway, i've got the next bits plotted out but genuinely i have zero motivation soooooo once we get to chapter 19 there will probably be a goodbye in the end note
> 
> just warning you now. don't get too attached


	14. The Reckless Ones find Berk and discover that pirates really, really suck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which there's exposition, rushed action, and self realization (so many -tions)
> 
> or
> 
> the self realization is mine. they say my plot in a line of dialogue and i realized just how little sense it makes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME CHAPTER TEN DOESN'T HAVE A TITLE TF
> 
> Also here's a thank you to CarolineTheRebel for the friking amazing feedback they left last night (it was night for me anyway) bc honestly it was super helpful to know the character work is paying off and also it always helps to hear that the canon characters is acting in character because it's just so damn hard and i always worry i miss the mark
> 
> because since this is a huge melting pot of crazy bullshit and centers around original characters (something Ao3 tends away from) the LEAST i can do is get the canon characters right

“So this is your world?”

“Yeah.” Willow had to seize Rapunzel’s arm and steer her to one side to avoid the water fountain she was about to crash into.

“It’s amazing.” The girl turned back to walking forwards. “I had no idea there was so much magic in the world.”

“It’s actually not magic,” Willow said. “It’s- technology. You know, science.”

“Science can be like this?” Her eyes widened. “I’ll have to read up when I get home.”

Willow glanced back to her map, which had reverted back to the regular version. “Zak we want to be by the Swiss Family Treehouse!”

“On which side?”

“The one across from the carousel lookin thing.”

“You mean The Magic Carpets of Aladdin?”

“It’s not labelled on here, don’t you sass me.”

Zak shrugged, tucking the staff under his arm as he navigated the map on his phone. “Watch my end for me will you?”

“Don’t turn too fast.”

Willow glanced around, trying to see if anyone was staring. She wasn’t super worried about people seeing the characters, as they were acting, well, in character, but she also didn’t want the staff playing the characters to get in trouble for walking through the wrong section of the park. But there wasn’t exactly a way for her to cover Rapunzel. They could give Peter a sweatshirt, but seventy feet of iconic blonde hair was kind of hard to hide.

“Here, Willow got your key?”

“No I lost it,” Willow said sarcastically as she pulled it out of her pocket. “Ready?”

They counted down from three and held up the keys, opening the portal and diving through. Willow blew her hair out of her face.

Berk looked basically like she’d imagined, she noted while surveying the village, with cabins, huge threatening vikings, and dragons all over. The dragons, however, were nothing like she’d imagined. The movie made them all look like dogs, with that level of intelligence. Staring at the dragon in front of her, it was nothing like that. This was a noble creature, and she suspected it was smarter than she was. _You wanna take the ACT for me?_

A crowd had gathered around them by the time she tore her eyes away, and she self consciously tugged her hood up. It was stupid, but she was a little more paranoid now. Zak glanced back at her, his face looking like she felt. She wished they knew how spells worked.

“Hiccup!” the girl in question cried in delight, and the crowd suddenly parted. Willow’s head snapped up to see the boy and dragon land in the space they provided. As he pulled of his helmet, she estimated they were pretty close to the second movie’s canon, since he looked a lot like he did in that one. He was taller than she’d expected, though.

“Rapunzel?” He looked confused at the sight of her. “You didn’t tell me you were coming.”

“I didn’t know until ten minutes ago,” she joked. Actually, Willow couldn't tell if it was a joke. Maybe she was being serious.

“And your hair looks,” he looked it up and down, “different.”

"Yeah, we aren't really sure how that happened."

Hiccup surveyed their little group, and Willow fought not to crumple under the searching gaze. "I'm guessing we have a lot to talk about."

Zak snorted. "You got that right.

Hiccup jerked his head to point behind him. "We can talk up at my house. Come on."

Anything was better than staying in the crowd. Willow did as he asked.

He took them to his house, set slightly apart from the rest of the town. “Unfortunately, my dad’s out on a fishing trip, so you’ll have to deal with me instead.” He pulled the door open with a half hearted flourish. “Come on in.”

Once he’d closed the door, introductions happened and explanations began. By the end of their story, the boy looked even more confused than before.

“So you’re from another world, and this legendary wizard Merlin asked you to help him keep our world from falling apart,” he summarized, “so you came to get help from us, to help you save a bunch of ancient and powerful beings.”

“I recommend not saying it aloud,” Zak quipped. “Makes it easier to get your head around. Anyway, no pressure, but the fate of your world and probably ours rests on this so there’s that too.”

Hiccup sighed. “Well when you put it like that how can I refuse?” he joked.

“I said no pressure.”

“I’m kidding, I probably would’ve agreed even without knowing the stakes were that high.” He stood up, wandering over to where Toothless lay on the floor and stroking his nose. “You know where they are?”

“Something like that.” Zak’s fingers tapped on Jack’s staff.

Willow’s phone went off, and she pulled it out. “Oh crap.” She shot to her feet. “Zak we need to be back at the hotel. Like, _now_.”

Zak immediately pushed his chair back, almost knocking it over. “Shoot- sorry, we really need to run.”

“Run where? What do you mean?”

“Our hotel- they do checks to make sure we’re there- the park closes _right now_ and we need to get back-” Willow shook her head. “Nevermind, I don’t know how to explain. We just need to get back like, right now.”

The pair tore back down the path to the portal, fumbling to grab their keys. The characters sprinted behind them, halting in front of the portal.

“We’ll be back tomorrow, promise.” Willow turned to reassure them, when her eyes widened. “Holy fuck, _Peter look out!_ ”

She hadn’t warned him in time. The meaty hand grabbed his wrist and pulled him away. The other five backed away as pirates advanced from the shadows, sword out, and they just kept coming, smirking as they formed a ring of swords around the rest of them, cornering them against the wall. The original pirate backed away, pulling Peter away from the group and down the path towards the sea. She could see the tiny figure in the lantern the pirate held and realized that they must have captured Tinker Bell on her way back from replenishing her dust supply. Her hands tightened on the boomerangs. Toothless growled, fire building in his throat.

“No, you’ll hit us too!” Hiccup’s warning stopped him, and the fire died.

“That’s right,” a pirate snarled. “Who’s next?”

“Where is everyone?” Willow hissed to the acting chief as she clutched the boomerangs, hesitant to fling them. Sure, some of the vikings were out on a fishing trip, but there had been so many loitering around when they’d first arrived, shouldn’t at least _some_ of them be able to take on a pirate in a fistfight? Or an axe-off?

“Probably up at the dining hall. It’s too far to yell.” The light of his fiery sword illuminated the worry on his face. “We’re on our own.”

Willow did her best to channel her inner Lottie and make a decent plan. What did they have? A magic stick, a fire sword, a dragon that couldn't explode things, whatever Rapunzel could cook up with her hair braided, and two boomerangs.

And they were cornered. By about twenty pirates. She tried to keep her breathing steady. God, she hated it when she got cornered. Back to the wall was never a good place to be involuntarily. It took out an exit, and those were always good to have a lot of.

 _Wait a hecking_ minute. It wasn't a wall. They had their backs to a portal.

The sorcerers glanced at each other, and nodded. “Okay, on my mark we’re all going to run through the portal, okay?” Zak said lowly.

The characters nodded to show they’d heard, and Toothless shook his head. They backed up as the pirates stepped forward, the sorcerers holding their keys behind them to open the portal.

Zak started the countdown. “Three--" Toothless's scales lifted as he growled-- "two--" Hiccup shifted his grip on his sword, Rapunzel bounced on the balls of her feet, Willow tensed and prepared to turn--

" _One!_ ”

They whirled and threw themselves through the portal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everyone tells me they come in with low expectations. good. come with low expectations. i will let no one down


	15. can i get a break. can i please get a break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I make probably outdated meme references and act as though i wrote this past midnight when actually it was like noon and i was probably in coding class
> 
> or
> 
> I AM ABOUT AS SUBTLE AS A FOREST FIRE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok sorry to @AmileanaBarnes , @fantASSyland , and @CarolineTheRebel , you expressed interest so technically this chapter should've been out like ten days ago but like highkey it was a mess and it's only slightly better even after extensive editing, i just realized right when i went to post it on like,,, december 5 that i most definitely wasn't using this particular mechanic in all the ways i could have so i wanted to fix up a thing for that. it'll probably end out a failed chekov's gun and be deleted but who knows
> 
> anyway thanks for expressing interest, here's your chapter. sorry in advance for how absolute garbage it is.
> 
> although at this point that's par for the course. you know what to expect.

“Okay. Crap.” Willow tried to keep the cussing at a minimum. “This was poorly planned.”

“Ya think?” Zak hissed, frantically tapping on his phone.

Willow rubbed her arms against the surprisingly chill night air. She’d given her sweatshirt to Hiccup and was really feeling the regret, but at least he’d be a little less conspicuous, with his incredibly iconic outfit, while they figured out the plan.

“Alright, so here’s what we’re gonna do.” Zak turned his phone around. Hiccup pulled his attention from gawking around to stare at the phone. “See this? That’s our hotel from above. You guys are gonna have to fly there on your own; you’ll be able to follow our bus for part of the way. Think you can do that?”

“Probably?” Hiccup ran a hand through his hair in agitation. “What’s a bus though?”

Willow hit her head against the wall.

Zak pulled in a breath. “Okay nevermind, new plan. I’m going to give my wristband to Rapunzel and she’s going to go with Willow, and I can guide Hiccup out of the park. Does that sound okay to everyone?” Willow noticed that as he glanced around at everyone, he included Toothless. Nobody voiced any oppositions. He nodded. “Alright then.”

He took his wristband off and handed it to Rapunzel, showing her how to put it on. “I’ll text Noser and tell him we’ll be running kind of late.”

“Okay.” Willow pulled a deep breath in. “Alright, let’s go.”

As Toothless took off, she and Rapunzel made their way to the entrance. “If anyone makes any comments about how you look just like Rapunzel, just say thank you, okay?” she instructed in a low voice. “As far as they’re concerned, you’re wearing a costume.”

“Why?”

"Your--" Willow sighed. "How do I say this. . . your story is famous but as far as everyone here knows you don't really exist. And magic's not a thing here, so you suddenly existing is something that gets the police and psychiatric involved, and that doesn't lead to anything good, so we just need them to believe you're just like everyone else."

"Oh." Rapunzel thought for a little as they wove through the crowd. “So your world gave up magic for science?”

“I- never thought about it like that,” Willow admitted. “It sounds sad when you put it like that. But yeah, I guess that’s what we did.”

Rapunzel looked conflicted. “So, if I go back home, and I start to study science, will my world be like this?”

“I have no idea.” Willow sighed, checking her watch. "I didn't even know you  _existed_ this morning. I’m far from the expert.”

It was a little chaotic, but they made it to the bus terminal without getting separated. Willow pulled her pale pink baseball hat lower on her head, making sure it stayed on. It was probably easy to spot from the air, especially when paired with Rapunzel’s golden hair, and she wanted to make sure those on the dragon could see her if they needed.

She had to hold Rapunzel’s hand to make sure the push of the crowd didn’t separate them so they could get on the same bus.

“So this is a bus,” the girl murmured, staring around. “How does it go?”

“Um, combustion. I think. Honestly, I don’t know; I don’t major in automobiles. There’s an engine, and it burns fuel to create power which turns the wheels, or something.” Willow made a frustrated noise. “I don’t know, it’s complicated.”

Rapunzel nodded, and they sat in silence as the bus stopped at the first of the Disney Hotels, letting passengers get off. Willow wondered if she should break the silence, but eventually decided not to. She wasn’t really sure what she’d say. She checked her phone, reading Zak’s texts.

The bus pulled up to their music themed hotel, and she stood. “This is us.”

Getting off the bus, Willow chewed her lip, staring around the area to see if she could find a spot dark enough Toothless could land. Apparently, those on the dragon didn't care as much, because Toothless landed just to the side of the hotel, in full light and where probably anyone could spot him and potentially film him but _whatever_. In a split second, Zak had hopped off and taken his bracelet back from Rapunzel, who climbed on, and they were back in the air before Willow had blinked.

“Okay, we gotta _go_.” He snatched her hand and dragged her with him until she got up to speed. They made it in the lobby right as the clock ticked over to 11:30. Their director raised an eyebrow at their entrance.

“Cutting it a little close there,” he joked.

“Sorry, the bus line was really long and we were on the opposite side of the park to the entrance when it closed,” Willow gasped out an excuse, stopping at the edge of the orchestra crowd next to their friends.

Their directors took roll and went over the room assignments one last time.

“When’s the performance, guys?” Noser called.

“At some point,” Zak chanted under his breath as the rest of the group chorused the date.

“Alright go to bed, you got another big day tomorrow.”

“Oh boy, have we got something to tell you guys,” Zak muttered to the other two.

“Yeah, we had a wild ride too.” Kari shrugged.

“No, it’s way different from just how our day went.” Willow sighed, kneading her forehead. “You’ll see.”

“All I want to see is a goddamn pizza.”

“We’ll get dinner in a second.” Zak lead them out the back of the main building, down the path towards the buildings with the rooms. “First, we’d like you to meet someone.”

“Zak you didn’t,” Lottie said warningly.

“We didn’t have much of a choice.” He stopped in a darker spot off the path, flicking on the light on his phone and waving it in the air. The rush of air hit their ears, and a second later the characters appeared, landing on the ground in front of them. Kari sighed.

“God, this’ll be hard to explain.”

“Nice to meet you too.”

Hiccup shrugged Willow’s sweatshirt off and handed it back to her. She pulled it over her head again, feeling loads more comfortable than before.

Rapunzel slid off the dragon, offering her hand to Lottie with a bright smile. “Hello, I’m Princess Rapunzel of Corona.”

“I’m- Lottie,” the girl stammered, seeming shocked to see the girl in person.

“I’m her girlfriend, Kari.” The other girl offered Rapunzel her hand, the expression on her face making it clear that she wasn’t actually feeling jealous. Her tone said she was stating a fact.

Rapunzel gasped. “You’re allowed to do that here?” Her eyes shone. “So it’s not an absurd law to pass! I’ll tell my councilors the moment I get home.”

Willow opted not to tell her that in most places, you _weren’t_ allowed to do that. She didn’t need to know.

“And I’m Hiccup, and this is Toothless.”

“Pleasure,” Kari said. Lottie dipped her head. “Okay, I don’t know about you but I haven’t eaten since 9 this morning, so I say we get a damn pizza and figure all the rest of this stuff later.”

“I second this motion.” Willow raised her hand.

Luckily, the meal plan the school had sprung for allowed them to get two pizzas and take them out to the lawn, with napkins. They knew how to eat without making a mess. It was entertaining seeing the characters try pizza for the first time. Rapunzel immediately declared it was the best thing she’d ever tasted.

“So,” Kari said, hiding her mouth behind her sleeve as she chewed. “How was your day?”

They filled each other in, occasionally making snarky comments on the others’ adventure (“Tony Stark, in a fistfight? It’s more likely than you think.”). When Lottie took the crystal shard out of her pocket, things got weird.

“Why’s it all black like that?” Zak asked. Willow frowned. Theirs had been iridescent, prismatic, transparent. The crystal in Lottie’s hand was so different.

“I’m- I don’t know.” She turned it over in her hands. “This side still looks the same as it did.”

Zak pulled their crystal shard out of his pocket, immediately fumbling and dropping it. “Oh god- ours is like that too.”

“How the heck?” Willow took it off the ground, inspecting it. Veins of black shot through the crystal, like octopus tentacles or ink. She touched it cautiously. It was cold.

“Could be it’s been away from Merlin too long, so it’s losing its power?” Kari suggested.

“I don’t think so, otherwise Merlin wouldn’t be so concerned with getting it back. He was concerned over the villains getting it and using it, not it running out.” Zak frowned. He glanced up at the characters. “Any ideas?”

They shook their heads, seeming just as confused as the sorcerers.

“Right.” Kari slid the crystal into her pocket. “Guess we’ll have to ask around.”

“We could google it,” Zak suggested halfheartedly. They laughed a little, even though nothing was particularly funny about that.

“Nah,” Willow mumbled. “The internet’s biggest source of information location can’t bail us out this time.”

“Like it did with Zak and every single assignment this year?” Kari teased.

“Okay, half.” Zak pointed at her. “Half of the assignments.”

“Details.” Kari glanced to the side, where her girlfriend had succumbed to her exhaustion and was dead asleep, swaying slightly with her face buried in her knees. “We should head in though. Catch some shut eye. A couple z’s.”

“Never say that again,” Willow said, the effect of her words somewhat nulled by a yawn.

“You guys can sleep, but I’m going to put on some kind of movie. We gotta know what we’re up against.”

“Mini movie night, then.” It was past midnight and she was tired. They didn’t have time for much more.

Hiccup opted to spend the night on the roof with Toothless, promising to stay out of the light and away from people. Rapunzel chose to join them in their room for the movie night.

“Sweet, it’ll be just like a sleepover.”

“What’s a sleepover?”

They didn’t even make it through the first movie before almost everyone had crashed. Zak set up the movie and went to get changed, promising to return, but since it had been about half an hour and he still wasn’t back, Willow suspected he’d crashed. He wasn’t going to be back.

She was the only one awake, bound and determined to make it through the end of _The Princess and the Frog_. She and Zak had been dealing with shadow dudes and damn if she wasn’t going to be prepared for that story.

“Hey Willow?”

Okay, so maybe she wasn’t the only one awake. “Yeah?”

Rapunzel lifted herself onto her elbows on the bed above her. “Stop me if I go too far, but earlier, with Gothel, the way you were talking-- was there someone like that in your life?”

She sucked in a breath through her teeth, feeling abruptly like someone had punched her in the gut.

“You don’t have to answer,” Rapunzel said quickly. “I get if it’s a sore subject. I just-- wondered.”

“I--” she cut herself off a couple times. “My girlfriend.  _ Ex _ girlfriend. Kind of. Best friend turned girlfriend? I don’t know. I just--  _ years _ I spent with this girl and I was just so absolutely enthralled and she-- you know, she said was my best friend and she said she only wanted the best for me, so I didn’t argue when she talked badly of everybody in our class and when she pointed out my faults because she just wanted me to be happy but then it just got too much and I wanted a break and she blew up and--” she buried her face in the blanket. The light from the movie flickered across her eyelids. “I had to change schools,” she finished. “And I haven’t seen her since.”

Rapunzel didn’t say anything. “It must’ve been hard for you,” she finally said. “Having to fight Gothel alone.”

“A personification of everything I ran from?” She laughed bitterly. “I guess you could say that.”

“But, you know, you won,” Rapunzel ventured. “You defeated her and put the story to rights. So, that bodes well.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” She smiled a little, allowing the girl’s optimism to permeate her self-deprecating shell.

“And hey, Merlin chose you guys for a reason.” Rapunzel rolled over. “I know you said you didn’t actually train with him, but he wouldn’t just choose some random guy off the street.”

“I dunno, he didn’t exactly have that many options.” Willow snickered. “We won’t know for sure until he pulls out the Chosen One prophecy.”

“Then you’ll know it was for a reason?”

“Then we’ll know it  _ wasn’t _ .”

They giggled.

“Well, for what it’s worth, I’m glad he picked you.”

Willow smiled. “Thanks.” She rolled over, shutting off Zak’s laptop. “For the record, I’m glad he picked us too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 100% real conversation b/w willow and zak while in the definitely-not-emperor's-new-groove jungle: "why couldn't merlin have picked somebody stable like a grandma?" "how many of those do you see at disney world?" "i dunno, enough? the woman who gave us our cards?" "wait yeah why didn't he pick her?" "holy crap she's gotta be fairy godmother" "YOOOOO"


	16. ~~Not a Real Update Just Editing Updates I'm Sorry~~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've been making some edits because MY GOD are the previous chapters absolutely pitiful, so I figured I'd make a chapter detailing what they are so y'all don't reread the whole thing just because I corrected a couple typos

_**as of 4/15/2019 (mm/dd/yyyy)** _

Chapter One:

  * edited for cringy dialogue / actions
  * edited for sentence flow



Chapter Two:

  * edited for sentence flow
  * edited for cringey dialogue
  * **changed how going through portals works (previously it was menus, now whenever they hold their keys up to a keyhole it operates as a door rather than a window;** this means that North dragging them through in chapter four is no longer a plothole; for more/clearer explanation i suggest rereading to segment or just asking me). i edited most other appearances of this mechanic but i can't be sure i caught them all so if there's a segment i missed please let me know thx  <3



Chapters Three & Four & Seven:

  * adjusted some formatting and word choice



_**as of 4/19/19 (mm/dd/yyyy)** _

i am **in the process of completely rewriting the rapunzel scene (chapter 12)** so if there were any parts you loved a lot and think should be in the remastered version, lmk. here's what we've got thus far:

  * looking back over the movie / what i remember (i don't own tangled so unfortunately i haven't watched it in a number of years), i've realized that **flynn rider and rapunzel have soooooo much chemistry, more than willow and rapunzel**  ever had. looking back, i also recognize that my motivation in the moment was more that of studio execs putting useless ass white boys with women they have zero chemistry with just because they think no one will watch the film if there's no B plot romance than that of someone who genuinely thinks a couple works together (actually that's a problem i have with romance in general... if you catch that anywhere else lmk). so **it's probably going to be toned down to celebrity crush / platonic appreciation** bc atm it just feels out of place and kind of cringy to me



also if anybody knows how to make the intro chapter feel less like Every Fanfiction Ever that'd be great (i'm looking at moving the starting point so it takes less time to get rolling? but yknow, i just know the first chapter is make or break and the one for this story is just Not Doing It)

Chapter Four:

  * added an agreement between the group to not mention the whole 'you're all movie characters' thing if they can avoid it
  * cut all dialogue referencing movies / movie companies after going through the portal
  * cut that petty ass dumb fuck argument and Zak's sarcastic introduction that's completely out of place (replaced by Zak saying he watched Kim Possible as a kid; we'll see if I make that important)
  * tightened up the narration around the time where they meet North
  * gave Willow a reaction that fits more with her characterization later (i'm a discovery writer so sometimes characters develop traits overtime that make actions previously seem ooc bc that trait wasn't a part of their character before; you'll see a lot of these edits)



Chapter Two:

  * dropped a mention of the crystal in Merlin's opening "everything's gone to shit" monologue so i can reassure both myself, the reader, and the ocs that it's a real thing



Chapter Eight:

  * edited for a tiny inconsistency with the map (portals on the map are  _already_ marked in red, i'm just colorblind apparently. they now turn black when out of order)



Chapter Eleven:

  * made some mostly minor edits to the dialogue and introductions (specifically, the sorcerer's introduction to Big Hero Six and how Kari introduced Tadashi)



(Note: why is writing so hard. why is it so tedious. why does it take so long. why do i put myself through this.  _why is editing so fuckin frustrating ~~kill me~~_ let me recite my affirmations  _this is fun i enjoy writing i love what i do it is a good hobby this will be so worth it_ )

this editing segment is brought to you by half*alive - still feel, the song i had on repeat for over an hour while updating all these changes. solid song. if you like OK go you'll probably like this song? it gives me vibes like theirs

god i am so tired

_**as of 5/1/19** _

_GUESS WHO MARATHONED PETER PAN, TANGLED, HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON, BRAVE, AND RETURN TO NEVERLAND OVER THE COURSE OF THE SAME WEEKEND? ME._

**_R E S E A R C H_ **

Chapter One:

  * **almost a total revamp** (changed the way characters are introduced and also the starting point), **however the story setting bits are mostly unchanged**



Chapter Two:

  * changed how the keys open the portal again bc i hate myself; **they touch their keys to the keyhole** (highkey forgot that they put the keys on the keyhole and the spells in the air in the game rip)



Chapter Twelve

  * **COMPLETE REVAMP JUST READ IT I CAN'T EXPLAIN ALL OF IT IT'S TWICE THE LENGTH MAN CUT ME SOME SLACK**



Chapter Thirteen

  * added to the Stitch ride sequence
  * added a little conversation at the end b/w Violet and the sorcerers



Chapter Fifteen

  * edited the chapter for the rushed / strained Willow/Rapunzel tones
  * edited their conversation at the end of the chapter



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about the crazy long wait, as i said in a comment i'm not pleased with how this story is going and it'll be way easier for everyone if there are as few chapters up as possible when i make edits, just in case i cut out or add a large segment of the story and then there's this hole or new event a character references and you're like ??? when did that happen?
> 
> tl;dr i'm working on it. i'm not a good author but rest assured i'm committed to getting better, or at the very least sucking less

**Author's Note:**

> The rules are the same until I run out of chapters to post (as of September 12, 2018 it'll be at chapter 15, later 19 if I ever finish that one part of 15). If someone (anyone, even just one person) displays an interest in this story (a kudos, a bookmark, a comment) then I'll release a new chapter at least 4-5 days after I released the last one.
> 
> The story gets a kudos? You get a chapter. Someone leaves a comment ("yo this is ok"), you get a chapter. Someone bookmarks? Chapter. Pretty easy.
> 
> I will say that comments like "your humor's lit" or what have you that specifically address something they liked give me inspiration to write more, so there's that. Also I'll be wrapped around your finger immediately and you'll be the love of my life.


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